Gary Johnson for President

All together now:  “There’s no difference between the two parties.”  And now There IS.

Gary Johnson — aka 2012’s answer to Ralph Nader — is the Libertarian candidate for the White House.  He served two terms as Governor of New Mexico.

This is a little-known fact, but Gary Johnson was actually running for president on the Republican ticket.  Yes, THIS year.  Seriously.  The reason you didn’t know that is because the media kept pretending he wasn’t there.  Everyone jokes about Ron Paul being ignored by the media, but Ron Paul was treated like a Hollywood celebutante compared to Gary Johnson.

Republicans love to preach about “individual freedom” and “limited government,” but come on, it’s just a soundbite.  It has a nice ring to it, but you’re not supposed to take it literally.  And then along came Ron Paul and Gary Johnson, actually MEANING it when they said “limited government.”  This made things a little awkward for the Warmongering Biblehumping wing of the GOP.  Hence the cold shoulder from the “media.”

I personally could never vote for a Libertarian candidate.  I sort of have this thing for funding the infrastructure, protecting the environment, providing job training for laid-off workers, stuff like that.

But for millions of voters who want the government to just go away — no more funding for the infrastructure, the safety net, the Pentagon, the Prison-Industrial Complex — there’s finally a choice.

If you think people are unemployed because they’re shiftless and lazy and they can just hurry up and die, AND you think The Handmaid’s Tale is a blueprint for America’s future — vote for Mitt Romney.

If you want the government to stop “meddling” in the economy AND stay the fuck out of your “morals” and personal life — vote for Gary Johnson.