Chief Justice John Roberts’ Hurt Feelings — Part XVIII

“The pwesident said mean things about me, wight in fwont of evewybody. MOMMY!?!?!?!”

When the Supreme Court reverses a legal trend that started in the early 1900s, we’re all supposed to just keep quiet and not say a word. Bribery is now a constitutional right, but sssshhhhhhh…

The Supreme Court’s “Bribery is just hunky dory” decision is possibly the Court’s most unpopular decision ever. To the vast, vast majority of Americans — and this cuts across all political lines — this decision sucks. Liberal, conservative, religious, atheist — practically everybody agrees that this absurd boneheaded — OOPS!

ssssshhhhhhhhh…

Anyway, it’s all water under the bridge now. Bribery is now a constitutional right, and this summer the Supreme Court will probably create another new constitutional right:

Fraud.

Hey, fraud schmaud. Let the buyer beware. A Real American doesn’t need a big smothering nanny state to protect him/her from crooked businesses and politicians. It’s a rough and tumble Free Market out there. Man up and fend for yourself or die.

The fraud/corruption convictions of Jack Abramoff, William Jefferson, Jeff Skilling — among others — could be overturned when the Supreme Court hears their appeals later this year. The law they violated might be “too vague.”

And anyway, perhaps our Founding Fathers envisioned fraud — as well as bribery — as cherished American freedoms, to be enshrined forever in the Bill of Rights.

Insurance Mafia Punishes Wayward Congressman

At least they didn’t break his legs. YET.

Rep. Anh Cao (R—Louisiana) was the only Republican in the House to vote for the Democratic health care reform bill. Cao’s district is heavily Democratic; he was William Jefferson’s replacement. His constituents told him to vote Yes on health care reform; Vinnie and Luigi told him to vote No. What to do.

Since his treasonous Yes vote, Cao’s political bribes, er, “campaign contributions,” have dropped by 40 percent. You happy now, Commie? That’ll teach you to snub the HMOsa Nostra. Watch your back.

And just how wealthy is the Insurance Mafia? They’re sooo well-off — one of their “companies” paid more than a million dollars a year to 39 of its highest ranking thugs.

Yes, that would be WellPoint, which owns Anthem Blue Cross. Million-dollar bonuses, mansions, yachts, luxury company “retreats” — What was the secret of their success? All they had to do was drop coverage for tens of thousands of sick people. Ah, the rewards of hard work.

Henry Waxman said: “Corporate executives at WellPoint are thriving, but its policyholders are paying the price.”

If you have a loved one who died from lack of medical care — thank a Republican.