GOP: “The Constitution is SACRED! Well, parts of it anyway.”

If there’s one icon that sums up the Republican Party for the past year and a half, it would be the local doofus — and every neighborhood has one or more — who dresses up like George Washington and shouts “We The People!”

Unfortunately there’s a hollow ring to these shrieks of “We The People!” and their selective quotes from the Constitution. If they’re so gung ho about the Constitution, and their belief that the Founding Fathers meant exactly what they said, then they should worship the entire Constitution and not just certain parts of it.

Of course they have this same selective approach to the Bible too. It’s the Word of God. God spoke and His words were transcribed exactly as He spake them. This is what “Christians” say, but if they actually believed this, their hatred of homosexuals — based on one sentence in the Bible — would be directed equally at people who eat shellfish and covet their neighbors’ wives, and people who worship false idols.

Likewise, while conservatives are dressing up like the Founding Fathers and passing out miniature copies of the Constitution, they’re secretly trying to sabotage the parts of the Constitution they don’t like.

The Second Amendment isn’t in any danger. Every man, woman and child has the God-given right to own an AK-47; and the more the merrier. And if somebody's property rights are threatened by rabid environmentalists, it's time to strap on the ol' George Washington suit and start shrieking "We The People!" and "Lock and Load!"

But behind the scenes, the teabaggers are hoping to abolish certain inconvenient parts of the Constitution. Their attacks on the Fourteenth Amendment have gotten the most publicity. Tell them swarthy Meskins to get the fuck out of our country and take their filthy anchor babies with them.

Other parts of the Constitution are in the Republican crosshairs too, as the linked article points out.

Here’s another article on the same topic, by Robert Shrum. He talks about the Senators — McConnell, Graham and Songbird — who are actually considering repealing the Fourteenth Amendment, and then he says:

“In today’s GOP, the few with loose morals vie to lead the many with loose marbles.”

He also describes the Constitution as being “old and in the way" according to the GOP.

Brave Republicans Attacking a Dangerous Target

Nothing rivals the unimaginable courage — the unblinking fearlessness — of Republican politicians when they set their sights on a new enemy.

Jobless workers whose unemployment benefits have expired, the bereaved mother of a soldier killed in Iraq, a terminally ill patient whose health insurance just got canceled by their HMO — a lesser person would cower and run from such a vicious opponent.

But for a Republican, cowardice is not an option. And just wait ‘til you see who Republicans are facing up to next. It’s enough to make you cringe and get butterflies just thinking about it. More frightening than a terminal cancer patient, more dangerous than Cindy Sheehan. Are you ready??? Republicans are about to march headlong into a brutal no-holds-barred confrontation with the children of illegal immigrants.

OOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!!! Are you trembling yet?

The newest rightwing buzzword is — Anchor Babies. That’s the name for children born to those swarthy lowly peons who snuck into the country illegally. Republicans are gonna git ‘em!

But first, there’s a little speed bump — the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution. The Far Right probably thinks the Constitution was written exclusively for the benefit of multi-millionaires who want to purchase Congressional elections, developers who want to pave over everything that doesn’t move, and gun manufacturers who want every man, woman and child to own an AK-47. Or two or three or twenty-seven.

The Fourteenth Amendment reads:

“All persons, born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States.”

Apparently the Fourteenth Amendment has too many big words for state senator Russell Pearce (R—Inbred). He’s the architect of Arizona’s “Zee Papersss Pleasss” law, and the ringleader of Arizona’s new plan to get those filthy icky Anchor Babies out of here.

The popular southern expression “Thank God for Mississippi” will probably be replaced soon with “Thank God for Arizona.”