De-Fund Planned Parenthood or America Gets It!

Several to-the-right-of-Hitler House Republicans are threatening to vote for a government shutdown if any of their anti-abortion amendments — including the amendment to de-fund Planned Parenthood — are not included in the spending bill. This is the bill that would keep the federal government funded through next September.

The ringleader is Rep. Chris Smith (R—Biblehumper). He said:

“I'm going to push so hard to make sure those are all in there.”

The amendment to eliminate all federal funding for Planned Parenthood was authored by Rep. Mike Pence (R—Cocksucker).

This new gang of Republican thugs is determined to take America back — to the 17th century.

As lowdown and slithery as Republicans are, you’d think the Democrats wouldn’t trust them as far as they could throw them. Unfortunately, Senate Democrats got punked by them. Again. Last month they made a handshake deal with Senate Republicans to dial down the unprecedented filibusters-on-steroids from last year and the year before.

They made a handshake deal with Republicans. [jaw dropping] [eyes throbbing]

A handshake deal with Republicans?!?!?!?!? Hellooo?!?!?!?!?

Gee, I met this honest-looking person yesterday near the bus depot. He had this heartbreaking story about needing $100 so he could get a bus back to Minneapolis where he had a job interview. He said he’d pay me back. So I gave him $100, and then I realized he didn’t have my address, so I lent him my driver’s license so he’d know where to send the money after he got back on his feet.

Needless to say, Senate Republicans are now planning to filibuster more and bigger and better than ever. The eight Senators (so far) who are planning this huge filibuster campaign are: Tom Coburn, John McCain, Jim DeMint, John Ensign, Ron Johnson, Rand Paul, Mike Lee and Kelly Ayotte. Gang of Eight: go fuck a hornets’ nest.

Senate Democrats: For God’s Sake, get it in fuckin’ WRITING next time.