The Assassination of an Alabama Geometry Teacher

Now don’t get all hysterical. We’re not talking about literally assassinating anybody. Let’s just use this high school geometry teacher’s bullet-riddled body as a prop for teaching students about lines and angles.

OK, so you’re the same height as this geometry teacher, and you’re shooting from the hip. Your bullet travels into the teacher’s lower abdomen, or maybe the pelvis. Now get ready, you’re about to learn two new geometry terms. The bullet has traveled in a line that’s parallel with the floor, and perpendicular to the geometry teacher.

And now, here's a slightly different context for these same two words. When the geometry teacher was standing upright — i.e. before you shot him — he was perpendicular to the floor. After you shot him, the deceased (or writhing and clutching and screaming) geometry teacher was parallel with the floor.

Wow. And you thought geometry class was supposed to be boring. But be careful if you decide to use “interesting” teaching methods like this for your own class. You might get a stern talking-to from the superintendent.

But at least your name will be kept secret.

This “teaching” incident took place at Corner High School in (or near) Birmingham, AL. Superintendent Phil Hammonds said: “We are going to have a long conversation with him about what's appropriate. It was extremely poor judgment on his part, and a poor choice of words.”

I suspect that if a teacher had used these same geometry examples during the Dumbya years, he'd get a lot more than a stern lecture from the superintendent.