Iraq: We’re NEVER EVER Gonna Leave!!! BWAAHAAHAAHAAA!!!

Might as well cut to the chase. Most of the presidential candidates either don’t know this, or they're pretending not to know: Our troops will be staying and staying and staying in Iraq. We may not be there permanently, but we’re gonna be there for a long looong time.

Presidential contenders are all claiming they have a surefire plan for getting us out of Iraq honorably and on “schedule” (whatever that means). But General Petraeus is saying otherwise, and nobody wants to admit this. His “surge” plan calls for American troops to be hogtied in Iraq for the next ten years. Five years would be the minimum; but ten (maybe more) years seems much more likely. And it’s not gonna be pretty.

Petraeus’ predecessor, Gen. George Casey, had planned on about 60,000 American soldiers remaining in Iraq by 2008. And these soldiers would be cloistered on four giant “superbases” where they'd be relatively safe.

Now — Under New Management — 160,000 American troops will be stationed in hundreds of “mini-forts” all over Iraq. And they’ll be right in the line of fire. Casualties will be higher than ever.

Iraqis are about to “stand up so we can stand down”????? Riiight. Be sure to ask for a left-handed monkey wrench and a skyhook on your way to picking up that bridge you bought at our special price.

One of the Army’s top experts in Irregular Warfare said “This is the right strategy: small mini-packets of U.S. troops all over, small ‘oil spots’ [of stability] spreading out. It’s classic counterinsurgency. But it’s high risk and it’s going to take a long time.”

Well isn’t that special. Come on White House wannabes and Congressional “leaders” (if you're out there). What do you have to say about this?