Who Hijacked Our Country

Friday, July 17, 2009

American Conservative Union — The World’s Most Expensive Hooker

No more calls, we have a winner. The American Conservative Union wanted $3 million for its, uh, “services” to FedEx.

FedEx and UPS were in a legislative dispute, and the American Conservative Union offered to support FedEx for a nominal fee of $3 million. This support would include articles and editorials written by ACU Chairman David Keene, who writes a weekly column.

FedEx refused the offer, so the prostitute threw the john out of her room the ACU retaliated by supporting UPS instead.

The dispute between UPS and FedEx is over a labor bill working its way through Congress. Right now, there are certain union protections that apply to UPS but not to FedEx. This bill would apply the same union protections to FedEx as well. FedEx, needless to say, is against the bill.

And the American Conservative Union promised, for this special one-time offer of only $3.4 million — Call Today! — to run “an aggressive grass-roots campaign to stop the legislation in the Senate.”

“Grass-roots?????” ROTFLMAO! Calling all rightwing millionaires — there’ll be a spontaneous hootin’ and hollerin’ rally at the yacht club.

Dennis Whitfield, the ACU's executive vice president, was a deputy secretary of labor in Ronald Reagan’s administration. You can imagine the empathy this wingtard must have had for those lowly peons who work for a living. Talk about the fox guarding the henhouse.

Other winners on the ACU board include Grover Norquist. Birds of a feather…

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Blogger Lew Scannon said...

American Conservative Union, there's an ironic name if I ever heard one.

July 17, 2009 at 5:37 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

Only in America... ?

Just bizarre.

July 17, 2009 at 5:44 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Lew: "Conservative" and "Union" in the same sentence, who'da thunk it?

Snave: Capitalism in all its facets.

July 17, 2009 at 7:11 PM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

I'd just like to announce that for a nominal fee, much less than the bloated ACU's bizarre offering, I will present my support for your company for a cool $2 million. I'll even write a blog post about how much ass your company kicks.

July 18, 2009 at 7:47 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: Sounds like a deal. Write that blog post. Your check is in the mail.

July 18, 2009 at 11:52 AM  
Anonymous S.W. anderson said...

This points up what really matters to principled, high-minded conservatives, doesn't it?

It's all about money and wielding power. They know the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

Dry rot in human form.

July 18, 2009 at 1:11 PM  
Anonymous Dave From Sequim said...

Tom, it's always been my suspicion that none of right wing guiding lights actually believe the crap they spew. It's all for profit. Sociopaths selling to the gullible, uneducated, racist proles that willingly buy the ideas that explain their lives' shortcomings as the fault of unions, liberals, secualarists and the 'others'(read: "brown people"). Eff*** 'em all!

July 18, 2009 at 3:53 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: "Dry rot in human form" -- LOL. Perfect description.

Dave: You're right, it's extremely lucrative to spew out rightwing drivel to the gullible. I can't believe how many people embrace their oppressors while blaming their own plight on liberals and other rabble-rousers.

July 18, 2009 at 4:02 PM  
Blogger Carlos said...

Wow. That's amazing. If I didn't read it myself, I'd not have believed it true.

I'd love to hear how the ACU justifies this kind of extortion.

July 19, 2009 at 3:18 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Carlos: No doubt they'll be able to justify it. They'll wrap it all up in Jesus and Free Enterprise and anyone who disagrees with them is a godless communist.

July 19, 2009 at 10:03 AM  

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