Who Hijacked Our Country

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Newcomers vs. Longtime Residents

There’s one group of Americans that stands head and shoulders above the rest of the country when it comes to stupidity, small-mindedness, self-absorption and arrogance. Did I mention stupidity?

The mystery group: people who move into a new town or area and immediately start complaining about it. You know the type — somebody moves next door to a farm and then complains about noises and smells. Or they move next door to a school and complain about all the noisy kids. Or they move to a new development on the outskirts of town and then have a hissyfit when the deer eat their gardens.

This article is about the small town of Bisbee, AZ, which is now being overrun with urban refugees who want to bring city conveniences with them. Why the F%$#&! did they move?

In one case, a person moved next door to a house where the family had 17 chickens. This new neighbor has made fifty — fifty!! — complaints about the chickens that he moved next door to. Get a life!! (Friendly advice for Douchebag: next time you go house hunting, don’t wear a blindfold.)

Another newcomer owns a large property fenced in with “an old weak fence.” Sometimes cattle from a neighboring ranch break through her fence. “Years ago, they drank out of my Jacuzzi and spit in it and did all kinds of stuff in it and broke it,” whined Betty Lindstrom. Well, Betty Lindstrom, here’s a very simple solution, but first you have to jack your IQ up into the double digits. Ready? Replace your “old, weak” fence with a new, strong fence. Duuhhh!!

Under open-range law, property owners are responsible for fencing out cattle. Ranchers are not obligated to fence in their livestock.

If you live (or have lived) in an area that’s rapidly growing, you’re probably all too familiar with these pests. The rural parts of Sonoma County, CA where I used to live, are suffering from this same infestation. Yuppies move out there and go “oh, isn’t this lovely, living out in the country eeewwww what’s that smell, I didn’t know cows made icky smells, let’s complain.”

I just can’t figure out the reasoning, the mindset of someone who would move next door to something and then complain about it. There are only two possibilities I can think of:

A) An IQ lower than the temperature in Fairbanks, Alaska in January; or

B) The most incomprehensible, unimaginable sense of self-importance; a feeling of “The world revolves around me. OK, I’m here. Listen up now, I’m dictating the following changes.”

Anybody have any other theories about what makes these people tick (and what can be done about them)?


Blogger Clublint said...

I think some people are just inclined to whine. Nothing ever makes them happy.

Thankfully, due to the fact that I have three children, I have the ability to filter stuff out that I don't want to hear.

People with triple digit IQs have the ability to overlook idiots and the obvious, and so do I!


July 10, 2005 at 11:46 PM  
Anonymous Tom Harper said...

Clublint: Yeah, that's probably it. Some people will be unhappy and have to whine no matter what.

July 11, 2005 at 12:50 AM  
Blogger Sar said...

"...next time you go house hunting, don’t wear a blindfold."

Classic! This has to go down as one of your funniest posts, Tom. As for your question, "why"? I'll draw on Forrest Gump for inspiration:

"Stupid is as stupid does."

(ps - speaking of inspiration, thanks for yours which appears in my latest post.)

July 11, 2005 at 6:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These people are the worst. I live in PA, about 1.5 hour from NYC. All the new Yorkers are moving here because they can't afford to buy houses in NY. I live in the mountains. We don't have busses, trains, etc. We drive our cars. All they do is complain about lack of public transport. Didn't those whney ass jerks know where they were moving to? Now they are lobbying to have a high speed rail line put in here so they don't have to drive to NYC. But the natives don't want it. We don't want to be a little NYC. And if I hear one more time about how the pizza, bagels, etc. are so much better in NY, I'm gonna puke.

July 11, 2005 at 6:58 AM  
Anonymous Tom Harper said...

Sar: Yeah, I’d say the Forrest Gump quote sums it up as well as anything. That was a great post you did. Thanks for the mention. (I added a comment.)

Anonymous: Yup, you got it. That’s exactly what I’m talking about. It’s unreal -- all these urbanites moving out to a rural or semi-rural area and then bringing the city with them. Every time I’ve moved, I’ve looked for a place that fits what I want, instead of “OK, here I am, now I’m gonna change it.” But maybe that’s just me.

And of course the food is so much better in the big city. “What, no Korean restaurants? What kind of Podunk town is this?”

July 11, 2005 at 11:02 AM  
Blogger Sar said...

Right on, Tom! :)

July 11, 2005 at 3:08 PM  
Anonymous Bee said...

Tom, I think you and I are in a similar mood today, my man.

I grew up for the most part on small farm - chickens, cows, horses, 12 acres, small fry, but I did say small farm. Yeah, yuppies moved in near the old-folks, and the first thing they do is let their mangy dogs run - and dogs tend to run horses and cattle literally to death. I was 17, and according to the county sheriff: "shoot the dog, take it next door, drop it on their doorstep, ring the bell, and let them know why their dog is dead." I was the best shot in the house, and couldn't hit them, so I never got to try that out in person.

People are turkeys, no matter which way you cut it - sometimes I can understand the unabomber types who go live in the woods and want nothing to do with people.

Why people act that way? I think when you said the world revolves around them in their own minds was right on target.

July 11, 2005 at 3:50 PM  
Blogger Unadulterated Underdog said...

I'm amazed about morons like that. Makes me think of Branson, MO. Once upon a time, Branson was a nice sort of rustic town, appropriate for a Silver Dollar City town. Then, as the 90's rolled around, all these washed up old farts began moving there (old musicians and comedians) and lo and behold they wanted modern convenience 60 miles from the nearest city. Now, the city has went from being a nice little mountain town to being a clogged resort town with washups on all sides and traffic up the yin-yang. If that wasn't bad enough, SDC has started to suck now too. It has decided it's not a frontier park but a Six Flags instead and is nothing but rides now. Whatta crock. Sometimes, I honestly hate modern convenience. I am sorry to be off topic, but this is all the same crap really, isn't it?

July 11, 2005 at 5:01 PM  
Anonymous Tom Harper said...

Sar: Thanks.

Bee: Yeah, that sounds typical. They have the same problem in Sonoma County, CA with dogs running loose and terrorizing livestock. And ranchers would use the same solution you described. So many people just refuse to believe their little Fido could be dangerous, but when he runs with ten other “Fido”s they can turn into a vicious pack.

I guess it’s just that combination of stupidity and self-centeredness that motivates too many people.

OK Democrat: That’s too bad about Branson. I’ve never been there but I’ve been to Eureka Springs, AR; I think they’re pretty close together. I know the Ozarks are a popular place to move to. I sure hope the charm of the area doesn’t get ruined by wealthy outsiders moving in, but that’s exactly what’s happening all over. Just too many morons moving to a town and then complaining about what was already there; or complaining that there aren’t enough urban conveniences.

July 11, 2005 at 5:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It reminds me of reports I've read of far thinking planners who build an airport far away from town so that they don't have to bother people. Then the real estate agents sell houses right next door saying "it's close to the airport" Then people start complaining about the noise and their property values. In every case the airport was there first.

We Americans are like this, when we first moved over here we took one look at those noisy, ugly, half-naked Indians and told them to move.


July 16, 2005 at 10:26 PM  
Anonymous Tom Harper said...

Erik: Yup, airports are a perfect example. Even those oil refineries in the East Bay -- from what I understand they were originally located out in the middle of nowhere. Then commuters started moving out there and "eewww, what's that smell?"

People never learn.

July 16, 2005 at 11:07 PM  
Anonymous Dave, who you met at LaPush said...

Tom, you don't have to go back to Cali to find examples of newcomers without a clue. That little town 15 miles east of you. 25 years ago when the first of the SoCal real estate lottery winners discovered the cheap farm land there was a classic letter to the editor in the Daily Snooze. Seems that said urban escapee had built himself a nice little estate on a piece of former farmland and was upset that some uncouth hayseed wasn't dutifully monitoring his manure spreader as he hauled it from field to field on the county roads. The dropping were a source of unpleasantness to him and his automobile and the local authorities were remiss is allowing such behavior. At the time he was rewarded with derision and scorn. Today (although manure spreaders are becoming a rarity in the area) I'd venture that he'd find volumous support. Times change.

July 17, 2005 at 2:55 PM  
Anonymous Tom Harper said...

Dave: Yeah, I remember you. Thanks for stopping by. Yeah, Sequim, that town is such a tragedy. I haven’t seen the town itself more than a few times; we go by it often on 101 on the way to other places further East. From everything I’ve ever seen of it, it looks so sterile and suburbanized I can’t imagine it ever having been a quaint, small town. I wish Sequim was further away from Port Angeles. I sure don’t want any of that gentrification and suburbanization here. Population growth is one thing, but I want all the urban refugees (who insist on bringing the city with them) to go to Sequim (or further East). Right now it seems like the perfect magnet for people who would move there and then complain about farmers, or deer eating their gardens, etc.

July 17, 2005 at 4:54 PM  
Blogger peace by equity said...

quoting Erik,

We Americans are like this, when we first moved over here we took one look at those noisy, ugly, half-naked Indians and told them to move.


10:26 PM

honestly at this point i hope americans don't come to europe.

p.s. too late.

July 20, 2005 at 5:23 AM  
Anonymous Tom Harper said...

Peace By Equity: Yup, they're everywhere. But I think this is happening everywhere. I read an article not too long ago about wealthy people from Mexico City moving out to quaint little villages, and then complaining about how backward everything is, and demanding wider roads, trendy restaurants and nightclubs, etc.

July 20, 2005 at 9:38 AM  

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