Ted Stevens: Douchebag

In a Congress filled with slippery shameless lowlifes, one special pusbucket stands head and shoulders above the rest.

Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) is determined to open the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling. He’s been wetdreaming about this for decades.

Or to put it another way, the oil industry has been wetdreaming about the ANWR. And Ted Stevens is their favorite prostitute. He’s had a long and sensuous career of getting fisted by his favorite oilmen, and he’s just discovered his kinkiest move yet.

Stevens is planning to hold the Hurricane Katrina victims hostage to his lust for the Alaskan Wildlife Refuge. He doesn’t have the courage or integrity to allow an up or down vote on the ANWR drilling. His only chance is to insert it as an amendment to a larger bill; so far this hasn’t worked either.

But now he’s planning to insert the ANWR drilling amendment into a defense appropriations bill. If that’s not bad enough, this defense bill also has an amendment authorizing aid to Katrina victims.

After he succeeded in getting the oil drilling amendment attached, Stevens gloated that “It’s going to be awfully hard to vote against Katrina. And if it’s in there, maybe disaster-area people will vote with me on ANWR.”

Pretty slick, huh? We can either protect one of North America’s last wildlife refuges, OR we can send aid to the victims of America’s worst natural disaster in history. When this sack of shit looks in the mirror, what does he see?

It’s too bad the oil industry has its prostitutes in Congress, but they should raise their standards a little. They don’t know where he’s been. Skanky Ted – God knows what his oilmen might come down with if they keep doing it with him.

Calling Lee Harvey Oswald: Where are you when we really need you?