Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, September 25, 2006

Kill It Before It Multiplies

Uh oh, it’s already happening. We’ve all seen those Godawful science fiction movies where this giant three-headed blob is terrorizing the community. Well, Karl Rove is now doing exactly what those slimy monsters always do: He’s Multiplying.

NOOOOO!!!!!!!

As you’ve probably read, the Republican Party will be spending most of its campaign money on local Congressional races. If any Republican incumbent is in the slightest danger of being unseated by a Democrat, the Democrat will be smeared, slandered and Swiftboated. And these local races will be run by a small army of Karl Juniors.

One TV ad shows a picture of illegal immigrants running across the border. Then the camera switches to images of Osama bin Laden and Zacarias Moussaoui. Then, while the word “Liberal” pulses on the screen, the announcer says “No wonder Harold Ford has been rated the most liberal congressman from Tennessee.”

That commercial was created by a Karl clone named Scott Howell. Howell learned the ropes not only from Rove but also from Lee Willie Horton Atwater. Other twisted Rove offspring include Todd Olsen, a direct-mail marketer from Austin; and Terry Nelson, who will be working on John McCain’s 2008 campaign.

Ah, something to look forward to.

17 Comments:

Blogger Praguetwin said...

You know, I almost wish I was in the states so I could throw up watching the political adds.

Almost.

September 26, 2006 at 6:48 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ashraf: I already have Amazing Illusions linked up.

PragueTwin: Yup, "almost" being the key word. Every time I think the attack ads can't get any sleazier, they do.

September 26, 2006 at 11:39 AM  
Blogger SWEATTSHOP said...

It is still amazing that these people can't see through this type of deceit.
We call them sheeple.

I would also like to link exchange.
http://911billofrights.blogspot.com

I've got you up under "Propaganda Related"

September 26, 2006 at 12:47 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

911 Bill Of Rights: Sounds good. I'll link you up. That's a great site you've got there.

September 26, 2006 at 2:27 PM  
Blogger Ignatius M. Dedd said...

you know, I wish Rove could do something about my horrible neighbors. I bet he could come up with something.

September 26, 2006 at 4:11 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

I.M. Dedd: OK, I'll pass your message on to Karl and his clones. Your neighbors will be Swiftboated before they know it.

September 26, 2006 at 5:30 PM  
Blogger Mike V. said...

Prague Twin,

I am going to Prague in November with my wife and we are really looking forward to it.

As a friend of Tom's, would you mind if I picked your brain just a little bit over email or something?

Thanks, man.


Oh, and Rove sux balz. :)

September 26, 2006 at 5:45 PM  
Blogger Jolly Roger said...

Well what the hell did you expect them to do? Run on their RECORD, for Christ's sake? Jeez.....

September 26, 2006 at 6:55 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jolly Roger: That's for sure; they don't have any record to run on. Only thing left to do is slime their opponents, the one true talent they have.

September 27, 2006 at 12:22 AM  
Blogger 1138 said...

Do any of the democratic candidates have a colored baby?
They will before the KarlKlones are through, even if the candidates are black.

September 27, 2006 at 12:52 PM  
Blogger 1138 said...

"I've never really blamed Bush or the oil companies for high gas prices."

Could you maybe stretch yourself to blaming Washington and the FTC?

Regulation of futures trading is out of wack on oil.
"oh well, that's the way it's done these days" doesn't address current shenanigans.

Conservation is a partial solution for tommorows, it doesn't excuse anyone from taking care of today.

September 27, 2006 at 12:58 PM  
Blogger Praguetwin said...

Mike V,

No problem. Drop me a line at praguetwin@yahoo.com and I'll get back to you.

September 27, 2006 at 1:17 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

1138: Don't worry, after the Karl Clones are through, these candidates will have colored babies, and they'll be exposed as devil-worshippers and child molesters. And they'll all hate America.

Since your other comment is an answer to my comment at Various Miseries, we should discuss it over there. In any case, I'm not sticking up for the oil companies or the FTC. They're assholes for jacking up the price of oil (and the FTC for allowing it). But the fact remains that if more people used mass transit and carpools, and phased out some unnecessary driving, the oil companies wouldn't be able to get $3 a gallon.

September 27, 2006 at 5:01 PM  
Blogger yellowdoggranny said...

judas priest ...kill me now

September 27, 2006 at 8:02 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Yellowdog Granny: Yup, this is pretty grim. Scarier than any science fiction movie I ever saw.

September 27, 2006 at 8:44 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

I think this is a major problem: we have demagogues like Bush and his little group of creeps and Karls convincing half of the American people (the right) that the other half (the left) is "the enemy" through the use of clever manipulative language. And because we DO all have a common "enemy" (the terrorists), Bush and his friends try to make it look like half of America's population is "the enemy", and at least subliminally (if not overtly) compares us in the leftist half with terrorists. Why? No doubt because we represent a threat to his power...

I guess when Dumbya said "I'm a uniter, not a divider" he was only talking about his own party. It's like any other time he talks about helping or protecting America... I believe he is only talking about the Republican half of the population.

September 29, 2006 at 2:34 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: When Dumbya said he was "a uniter not a divider," everybody misunderstood him. He meant that he was gonna unite the rest of the world against the United States. And he's done it. He's a man of his word.

September 29, 2006 at 5:15 PM  

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