Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, September 11, 2006

The Truth About 9/11

Thank God for ABC. They’ve finally broken away from those other liberal TV networks; they’ve dared to tell us The Truth About 9/11. For five years the leftwing media has kept Americans in the dark. But now we know:

The tragedy of September 11th was BILL CLINTON’S FAULT!!!


Clinton had dozens — hundreds — of chances to kill Osama bin Laden, but he just couldn’t be bothered. He was too busy cavorting with Monica Lewinsky, practicing witchcraft and plotting the murder of Vince Foster.

He gave away massive welfare payments to unwed mothers and crack whores. Sapped of our moral fiber and Puritan Work Ethic, our once-great nation was no longer able to defend itself. Damn You Bill Clinton!

Maybe ABC will start broadcasting more inside information like this.

Jerry Falwell has a documentary proving that crime and poverty are caused by Americans who don’t go to church. The pharmaceutical industry has a special report showing the hazards of using natural healing methods and herbal supplements.

These stories have been suppressed for years by the liberal media. ABC — we need you.


Blogger Snave said...

Clinton didn't just have hundreds of chances to kill Bin Laden... he had THOUSANDS. Like Stephen Colbert says, "If it COULD be Bill Clinton's fault, it IS Bill Clinton's fault."

I hear the American auto industry is behind a new network drama about how hybrid cars are dangerous and that they are all lemons. Also, I understand the oil industry has plans for a cute, animated miniseries about little animals who live in fragile areas where oil drilling occurs, but none of the drilling does damage to the environment whatsoever, and they all co-exist peacefully ever after.

Anyway, I think it's interesting that ABC would air a miniseries written by right-wingers during a tense political time in an important election year. I guess this proves that FOX News is not the only "fair and balanced" network in the U.S.

September 11, 2006 at 8:58 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: Yup, everything was Clinton's fault. And no doubt ABC (or some other lackey) will start airing commercial-free "documentaries" by the auto industry, oil industry and God knows who else. All those cute fuzzy animals of the North love oil derricks and they hate treehuggers, but this information is being supressed by the leftwing media.

September 11, 2006 at 9:25 PM  
Blogger David Schantz said...

Could it all be the media's fault and everyone else is innocent?

God Bless America, God Save The Republic.

September 11, 2006 at 10:17 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

David: Well, I guess if it's the media's fault, it's everyone else's fault too, for not being skeptical enough.

September 12, 2006 at 12:04 AM  
Blogger Thru The Rain said...

"He gave away massive welfare payments to unwed mothers and crack whores." whoa. effing chill.
Not going to church doesn't cause crime of the poor. Lack of education and opportunity causes poverty and out of poverty you have crime.

September 12, 2006 at 1:38 AM  
Blogger Praguetwin said...

Kind of punches a whole in the whole "liberal biased media" argument.(not that it was ever that compelling in the first place.)

September 12, 2006 at 6:46 AM  
Blogger frstlymil said...

That load of crap on ABC was beyond offensive to the American people - one more reason to change the chanel and not watch that network. Ever again. It's not that hard to boycott something, and our vote has more meaning coming from our wallet than in the voting booth it seems - hell I'm already boycotting Walmart, Nestle, Hershy, Nike, Fox News, any product with high fructose corn syrup, diamonds - what's a few shows on a network? American Broadcasting Company, my tattooed ass. I'll read a book or watch Law and Order re-runs on USA.

September 12, 2006 at 7:45 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Thru The Rain: Uh, since my post was satire, I agree wholeheartedly with your comment.

Prague Twin: I don’t think the media (the major networks) is either liberal or conservative. Their only “bias” is toward the bottom line.

Frstlymil: That’s a lot of boycotting. I should be that conscientious. The general public would have a lot more clout if everybody spent their money wisely. Every dollar a person spends, that person is making a statement. By patronizing only those people and organizations that they support, the public can make a strong statement (at least until Diebold finds a way to tamper with that too).

September 12, 2006 at 11:55 AM  
Blogger Mike V. said...

one day there will be a museum that is dedicated only to presenting Clinton's penis.
rightards from far and wide can come and marvel at it.

September 12, 2006 at 1:49 PM  
Blogger frstlymil said...

It might seem like a lot of boycotting - I think what turns people off is that they think they will be inconvenienced if they cut out certain things or switch to unfamiliar brands - or miss them. I simply read labels, don't darken certain doors, don't buy certain foods or clothing items and I [pretty quickly] don't miss them.

[Vanity Bonus in one area is: Cutting out soda, juice and food with high fructose corn syrup knocked a quick 15 pounds off my ass and it stayed off.]

September 12, 2006 at 1:52 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Mike: There's an idea. The museum would probably be located in Lynchburg, VA. Rightards could make a one stop shop out of Jerry Falwell's Liberty University and the museum.

Frstlymil: I'll have to start checking labels more closely for high fructose corn syrup. I know that's supposed to be one of the main culprits. I hardly ever drink soft drinks. It's not will power; I just don't like them much. If I'm gonna take in 200 calories it has to be something I like.

I try to avoid Big Box stores in general. According to our local Downtown Association, out of every dollar you spend at a locally-owned store, 60 cents stays in the community. When you shop at a Big Box store, that figure drops to six cents.

September 12, 2006 at 4:06 PM  
Blogger Ricardo said...

This is why I hated working for parent company Disney, Tom. I actually worked for ESPN but everyone watched ABC shows, everyone went to Disney World for vacation, everyone wanted to be a mousekateer.....argh!!!

I will bet good money that everyone around the water cooler @ ESPN is nodding in approval over this "thing" abc has out. I was one of the few left leaning people there. I spoke my mind and had to contend with VPs standing around blabbering about these very things when the topic shifted to politics. Thinking about it, I'm glad they fired me.

September 13, 2006 at 10:03 AM  
Blogger Jenn of the Jungle said...

"The tragedy of September 11th was BILL CLINTON’S FAULT!!!


We'll I for one am magnanimous enough to admit that the CIA and the FBI had a role in it too, as well as the terrorists themselves.

September 13, 2006 at 10:40 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ricardo: That's too bad Disney was such a stultifying place to work. It almost sounds like one of those Japanese companies where the employees all take their vacations together. No thanks.

Jenn: Oh, so the FBI, CIA and the terrorists were at fault too? Cool.

September 13, 2006 at 12:48 PM  
Blogger Ricardo said...

Tom Disney is a cult and very similar to the old school hardline Japanese companies where the job was a lifestyle. They would send us away on week long meeting where we'd wake up at 7 in the morning for breakfast at 8 and nonstop group activities until 11 at night. Imagine being forced to draw self portraits of where you see your career and having them analyzed and listening to mouskateer propaganda ALL DAY!!!!

September 13, 2006 at 8:32 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ricardo: Whew! You're lucky to be out of there.

September 14, 2006 at 1:58 AM  
Blogger yellowdog granny said...

JEEZ... someone should give me a f****** medal..fo not starting drinking again...cuase these people are enought to drive you to drink..

September 14, 2006 at 11:27 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

You're right, these people probably cause a lot of substance abuse among the American population.

September 14, 2006 at 6:36 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

I understand that the ABC "9-11" program was outdone in the ratings by FOOTBALL GAMES on Sunday and Monday evenings. Anyone know if this is actually true?

September 14, 2006 at 9:55 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

I read that same thing, that a football game got higher ratings that The Path To 9/11. Talk about a diss. Serves them right.

September 15, 2006 at 12:57 AM  

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