Low Polls: Time to Wind Up Dick Cheney Again
When the Terror Level is Severe, this is indicated by the color red. But in case of an even greater emergency than a terrorist attack (i.e. low poll ratings), our “leaders” have an even more drastic response: 1. Go to the laboratory and unwrap the Dick Cheney Droid. 2. Wind it up and turn it loose on the lecture circuit.
Apparently the Republicans’ poll ratings have sunk low enough that this urgent measure is needed again. The Cheney Droid’s mission is to distract Americans from their Congress full of perverts and the committee chairmen who love them.
The Cheney Bot is warning audiences that the terror menace is “still lethal, still desperately trying to hit us again.” The Bot says that Bush is “protecting America” while the Democrats’ policies are a “reckless strategy of resignation and defeatism in the face of determined enemies.”
As usual, the Droid’s speeches are out of the public eye; they’re mostly private fundraisers and invitation-only events. At some of these events, local Republican candidates are refusing to jeopardize their own careers by being photographed with Cheney.
GOP strategists say they don’t care if Cheney is even more hated than Bush and Congress. His speeches “get the party faithful going.”
But Cheney’s speeches and accusations are also rallying Democrats (and everyone else who's had enough Bushit). One Democratic strategist says “When he threatens Democrats and calls them names, it’s something that really fires up our base.”
Last week Senate Democrats released a statement saying “Instead of ranting and raving on the campaign trail, Bush and Cheney should spend their time on the trail of Osama bin Laden.”