Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, November 19, 2007

Karl Rove Tells How to Beat Hillary

Here it is, straight from the douchebag’s mouth:

This just in — Hillary Clinton is “hard and brittle” (as Sleazebag puts it). She's also "a bitch," of course; and she "calculates almost everything, including her accent and laugh."

Here's where Rover turns into a comedian: his advice to the ultimate Republican nominee is to “Tackle issues families care about.” Of course. You mean abortion and gay marriage, right? I know those are the first things on my mind when I’m struggling with the bills.

Oh my God, Hell has frozen over and pigs are flying. The issues he's referring to are “jobs, the economy, taxes and spending.” OK, I get it. When the wingnuts get through spinning this one, “taxes and spending” will mean anything having to do with health care, job training, the environment or the infrastructure. “Jobs and the economy” will mean “what's good for Halliburton/Exxon is good for America.” Will American voters be as stupid and gullible next year as they were in 2004?

Goebbels Rove also says “but some issues that used to be ‘go to’ ones for Republicans, like crime and welfare, don't have as much salience.” Then again, words like crime and welfare mean different things to different people.

Here is where the term “Orwellian” really gets stretched into bizarre shapes and sizes that poor old George never would’ve dreamed of: “Concerns like health care, the cost of college and social mobility will be more important.” Yes, this is exactly what CEOs and Republican VIPs have been agonizing over for the past seven years. Let’s see how they spin this one. If only Marie Antoinette could’ve translated “Let them eat cake” into “I’m sooo concerned about the plight of the poor and downtrodden.”

And now the pusbag starts spinning even faster and more furiously: “Aggressively campaign for the votes of America's minorities. Go to their communities, listen and learn, demonstrate your engagement and emphasize how your message can provide hope and access to the American Dream for all.” Yeah, you do that. Record profits for the largest corporations, higher taxes for working people and a bloated multi-trillion-dollar Pentagon — this is exactly what minorities and working families are clamoring for.

Uh oh, now the mask is getting peeled off and we see The Blob for what it really is: “Be strong on Iraq. Democrats have bet on failure. That's looking to be an increasingly bad wager, given the remarkable progress seen recently in Iraq.” Yes indeed, “remarkable progress in Iraq.” Easy to say for a pasty-faced triple-chinned shitwipe who wouldn’t know a military uniform if it bit him on the ass. Contact your recruiter, Asshole.

BTW, this article has some interesting comments at the end.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Blogger Snave said...

Rove is indeed a filthy pusbag who probably sits around and masturbates all day while picking at his scabs and eating his boogers. There, that made me feel good! Now to an actual comment:

I don't think the GOP spinners will be able to fool American voters on most of what Karl is talking about until they pull that last one you mentioned out of the bag.

They can't really put that much of a scare into the voters with stuff like "If you vote Democrat, the cost of college will go up", "If you vote Democrat, federal spending will increase", "If you vote Democrat jobs will disappear" or even "If you vote Democrat your taxes will be raised".

What really puts fear into people is "If you vote Democrat we will get attacked again by the terrorists" and "If you vote Democrat we will all die". I think it will ultimately be the terrorism thing that they have to resort to. I think Americans are tired of their shenanigans, and that many will be able to see through most of the Republican brand of bullshit this time around. At least I hope so...

November 19, 2007 at 10:01 PM  
Blogger Candace said...

Amazing spin, simply amazing: "She calculates everything."

Rove's entire article is calculating how to beat her in the election. Rove's whole career has been calculating how to get his candidates into office. Even his own "resignation" was calculated.

(Loved the Goebbels reference)

November 19, 2007 at 10:01 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: I hope you're right that "we won't get fooled again" in 2008. But then, before the 2004 election, lots of knowledgeable people, including Hunter Thompson, were certain that Bush was toast. (Hunter Thompson had one of his most colorful articles ever in Rolling Stone just a few weeks just before the 2004 election.)

But maybe the American public has finally had enough. As another president once said, "you can't fool all of the people all of the time," etc.

I'm surprised the Democrats haven't turned 9/11 to their own advantage. After all, it happened on Bush's watch. And 6 years later we're less safe, billions of dollars in debt and quagmired in 2 (soon to be 3) wars. If the Democrats aren't smart enough to express this, maybe we actually do get the government we deserve (as the saying goes).

Candace: Yup, that's pretty ironic that Rove plays up how "calculating" Hillary is. Rove has to be the most calculating, devious little shit in recent political history.

November 19, 2007 at 11:45 PM  
Blogger PoliShifter said...

The question is will Democratic political strategists fall for Rove's bait and run with it changinng their tactics based on one little op-ed by Rove?

The DNC and DLC have a habit of getting taken for a ride by Rove. This is no different.

Rove's just casting, throwing a luer out and seeing what Dems he can get to chase. Our Dem leadership are dumb enough to swallow it all hook, line, and sinker.

This is classic political strategy by Rove.

Tell your opponents how to win a knife fight and then you show up to the fight with machine guns.

November 20, 2007 at 10:50 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

PoliShifter: Excellent point; that's probably the exact purpose of Rove's column. He's been a genius at feigning and faking, and the Democrats fall for it every time.

"Tell your opponents how to win a knife fight and then you show up to the fight with machine guns" -- LOL, that's Rove in a nutshell.

November 20, 2007 at 11:13 AM  
Blogger Miss Kitty said...

I [heart] you, Tom. And I agree with the previous posters. As much as I'd like to see a Dem in the White House as of January 2009, I think we're going to get "taken for a ride" again. Americans just haven't gotten enough of getting screwed up the bohunkus yet--I guess they like it. So much for family values.

November 20, 2007 at 11:41 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Thanks Miss Kitty. I don't know if Democratic "leaders" are really this dumb or if they're doing this on purpose. A lot of third party people think the Democrats and Republicans are working together, that all their disagreements are fake; they're just playing good cop bad cop. Sometimes I'm afraid they're right.

November 20, 2007 at 11:48 AM  
Blogger LET'S TALK said...

The spin has already put Hillary on the hateful end of almost all and if she is the nominee, a Republican will surely become our President again.

I do not know exactly how they are doing it, but they have manage to spin all types of things in favor of all Democrats seeing blood and hate, when it comes to Hillary.

With this said, you had better believe all Republicans will dash to their voting booth to vote against Hillary and most Democrats will be home or casting a vote for a third party looser.

November 20, 2007 at 12:54 PM  
Anonymous Andy said...

Rove's "political genius" is vastly overrated, as seen in the permanent majority he helped establish for Republicans.

November 20, 2007 at 12:56 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Let's Talk: It sure seems like Republicans are doing everything they can to ensure Hillary gets the nomination. But I think the one thing Rove is right about is that she'll be hard to beat. Her cold calculating control-freak personality and her huge warchest could easily lead her to defeat her Republican opponent.

This tactic the Republicans are using could easily backfire on them, and then we'd all be stuck with Hillary.

Andy: True, Rove hasn't had the lasting effect that Republicans were hoping for. Let's hope he's just a one-trick pony whose only trick doesn't work any more.

November 20, 2007 at 2:04 PM  
Anonymous JollyRoger said...

Der Rovesmarschall screwed the pooch, badly, in 2006. How did he do that? By relying on fearmongering and smear.

What does he have now? More of the same. He's a one trick pony, and his time is up. We know who the REALLY scary scumbags are now.

November 20, 2007 at 3:08 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jolly Roger: Rove's time is probably up. Unfortunately he taught his tactics to a lot of proteges, and they're all out there digging up dirt and pushing all the fear buttons. Hopefully this tactic of smearing opponents and scaring everybody with fake bogeymen will lose its effect. The '06 election was a hopeful sign.

November 20, 2007 at 5:38 PM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Poli asked will Democratic political strategists fall for Rove's bait and run with it changing their tactics based on one little op-ed by Rove?


And Rove as a long-term strategist is quite bad, but I think he was successful at getting these fucks in the White House. With the media so unquestioning and the Dems so spineless when it comes to foreign policy, it sets up nicely for a suspended 2008 election. I don't see how the neocons even take the chance at losing all this power.

November 21, 2007 at 5:22 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: If Rove manages to steal another election, it'll only be possible because of spineless Democrats, a lapdog "media" and millions of stupid voters. Unfortunately all those ingredients are there and ready to be used.

November 21, 2007 at 10:08 AM  
Blogger Mauigirl said...

I hope the American public isn't as stupid as it was in 2004. But as someone once said, you never go broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. Was it Barnum? Or Mencken? One of them said it anyway - and it's sadly true.

November 22, 2007 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Mauigirl: Yeah, I doubt if the American voters have gotten any more intelligent or logical in the past 3 years. I think the only solution is for the Democrats to beat Rove at his own game. They'll have to start Swiftboating Republican candidates and manufacturing phony hotbutton issues to get Democratic voters all fired up.

November 22, 2007 at 11:37 AM  

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