Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Happy Mission Accomplished Day

Yes, our little Cakewalk is five years old today. Democracy is flowering in the Middle East. The American economy is booming.

And America’s global image is better than ever. When Saddam Hussein was getting ready to take over the world, most countries just sat there cowering. But not us! We marched right in there and did what needed doing. We seized those Weapons of Mass Destruction (and just in time!).

We delivered a knockout punch to al Qaeda, who had been helping Saddam with his evil plans. And then we left. And we’ve been the world’s heroes ever since.

And how about those rock-bottom gas prices. I’ll have to admit (sheepishly), five and a half years ago I thought it was a little tacky to invade a country just for their huge oil supply. But Hot Damn, it was worth it!

Booming economy, the world’s adoration, an endless supply of cheap oil — liberating Iraq was the greatest thing we ever did. It’s just too bad that George W. Bush has so little time left in office. Can’t we get rid of that pesky 22nd Amendment? If only Bush could have another four years — Hell, make it eight — [swooning] just think of the wonders he could perform.

During this period of unparalleled harmony among Americans, let’s have a look at how some people are celebrating Mission Accomplished Day.

cross-posted at Bring It On!



Blogger Randal Graves said...

It'll never happen, but imagine the entire nation doing that. Think they'd listen then?

May 1, 2008 at 12:42 PM  
Blogger 1138 said...

Well just so it wasn't all for nothing, I'd be really pissed if we had say wasted a trillion dollars or so, lost thousands of lives, crippled tens of thousands more, ruined and economy and spoiled a wonderful reputation.

But We remain a shining beacon of hope to the world so I can plan on my retirement and sleep warm and safe a t night happy and serene.

May 1, 2008 at 2:12 PM  
Anonymous Vice said...

Yes, yes it will indeed be a sad day when all of this comes to an end!

May 1, 2008 at 2:43 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: Yup, just imagine, millions of Americans going on strike, and not just for one day either. Oh hell with it, American Idol is on.

1138: Yes, it's a good thing this adventure didn't cost us anything. That sounds like a terrible scenario -- thousands of deaths, tens of thousands of injuries, a wrecked economy and a trillion dollar deficit. Glad nothing like that happened.

Vice: Oh, what will we do when Dear Leader is gone? It just won't be the same.

May 1, 2008 at 4:51 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

We don't need to give George W eight more years in office to continue the good work of his administration. All we have to do is elect McCain of Clinton, and the same crap, er, I mean solid American goodliness, will continue, unabated.

(As a side note, March 19, the day we invaded Iraq, is my youngest son's birthday; May 1 is my oldest son's birthday)

May 1, 2008 at 7:57 PM  
Anonymous JollyRoger said...

Chimpy is still trying to find an excus..... er, get those Iranians to break their ties to al Qaeda and the Taliban. If they don't, watch out! There'll be millions MORE celebrating their freedom!

May 1, 2008 at 9:23 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Lew: I don't know how different Clinton or McCain would be from Bush. Congress should go more Democratic this November, whatever that's worth. Hopefully there will be enough of them to stand up to the neocon agenda. But you never know.

March 19th and May 1st -- interesting birthdays.

JR: Ah yes, I can't wait 'til we bring freedom to Iran as well.

May 1, 2008 at 11:23 PM  
Blogger Carlos said...

I wonder how our maimed citizens are celebrating. I wonder if the war dead are celebrating in the afterlife. Maybe I'll drive down the road and ask ol' John Hagee to mediate so I can ask 'em myself.

May 2, 2008 at 3:33 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Carlos: Oh come on, I'm sure they were happy to die or get maimed for Halliburton, er, I mean "Freedom" :)

May 2, 2008 at 8:52 AM  
Blogger Mike V. said...

I love the gas prices sometimes.
Like when I pass a guy with a giant SUV.
Yellow ribbon intact.

Thanks for playing on my art test.

I need more people to participate. :)

May 2, 2008 at 2:33 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Mike: Yup, it serves those gas-guzzler-driving yellow-ribboners right.

Good luck with your art test. Any prizes for guessing the right answers?

May 2, 2008 at 3:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gotta love photo-ops...they come to back to bite you in the ass, Hillary Clinton can relate.

But I'm glad we finally got Democracy to the Middle East and those barbarians. If there anyone who could do it, it was George Bush.


May 2, 2008 at 4:23 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jo: No doubt, whoever came up with this brilliant photo op idea must be really kicking himself in the ass for these last 5 years. Gee, let's have Dumbya put on a flightsuit and we'll helicopter him out to an aircraft carrier. This will create a 1-day delay for these Sailors and Marines returning home from their 10-month mission, but hey, they won't mind.

May 2, 2008 at 4:56 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

Great post, Tom! Glad to see you have made your way over from the Dark Side to the real world!

In this post, you have described a major part the Bush Legacy. Good job!

May 5, 2008 at 10:03 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: Thanks. Ah yes, the Bush legacy. 100 years in Iraq, a 2-tiered society with a tiny middle class, environmental destruction, being hated by most of the world...

The Chimp wants a legacy, and he shall have one.

May 5, 2008 at 10:23 AM  

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