Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, April 21, 2008

Devastating News for the Bush Crime Family

[sigh] The best laid plans…Why Lord why??? OK, you’re one of America’s most influential families. Where there’s money to be made, you’re on it. Trading with Nazi Germany in the 1930s, protecting global corporations against those pesky natives — there are fortunes to be made here, as long as you aren’t hung up on some wimpy concept like morals or a conscience.

One of the shrewdest moves for a wealthy family is to own huge amounts of land, in a lot of countries. This way, wherever there’s a new conquest — corporate, military, drug cartels, whatever — you’re right there in the thick of the action. You’re already in on the ground floor.

Being a prominent crime family, you always have an exit strategy, a Plan B, in case things go wrong. After all, your family has several grown-up (chronologically that is) sons who are constantly having business empires handed to them — and they invariably fuck everything up. Mass layoffs, millions of dollars lost, companies going out of business — yawn. Daddy, I broke that one too. Can I have a baseball team?

In the most blatant example, your family’s oldest son is currently occupying the ceremonial figurehead position of President of the United States. Now, this hypothetical scenario is highly unlikely, but there’s just the teensiest little chance that this son could possibly be charged with war crimes. If the unthinkable should happen, your whole family will need a nice safe refuge to flee to.

As always, you’re right on top of it. You’ve already gone and bought up a huge parcel of land in South America. And not just anywhere in South America. Nosireebob, you did your homework. Most of South America has fallen to the Communists, so you shopped very carefully.

In that giant cesspool of leftwing pestilence, there are still two shining beacons of freedom: Colombia and Paraguay. Colombia is a little too volatile. The drug trade is every important of course, but you don’t want your family members getting caught in the crossfire when these drug dealers are killing each other.

That leaves Paraguay. And what a foolproof choice that was. The same rightwing political party has been ruling with an iron grip for 61 years. It’s a paradise where millionaires can wheel and deal with each other and get even wealthier on the backs of millions of peasants and injuns. And those peons know their place; they stay out of trouble if they know what’s good for them. Everybody wins! Damn, this was a brilliant choice. Nothing could possibly —

WTF??? NOOO!!!!!!!

There was an election, and the riffraff have taken over. Who lost Paraguay??? Why did these people need an election anyway? They’ve been perfectly happy for 61 years, and now everything is ruined!

Will the Bush Crime Family still be able to seize Paraguay’s largest aquifer? Will they still get in on the ground floor of those lucrative mining conglomerates and drug cartels? Will they even still have a place to run and hide if the family fuckup gets put on trial???

(to be continued)

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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17 Comments:

Anonymous Vice said...

That's some serious food for thought! On one hand it doesn't surprise me one bit that the Bush W. Clan is plotting an exit strategy in case the 'Hague scenario' starts to come together. On the other, knowing our Congress, they will probably give him a grand send off, with their blessings and a gold watch to boot!
Personally, I can't understand why the Sergeant at Arms wasn't in the Oval Office to arrest his ass for crimes against the 'God damned piece of paper' the second he approved the use of torture. For that fact, he should have been arrested when no WMD's were found in Iraq either!
But, thanks to Congress, he's been allowed to operate with impunity for 8 years, and I doubt whether they will do anything to him now, except wish him a happy and healthy future in South America!

April 21, 2008 at 5:15 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Vice: You're right. If we had enough Congresspeople with integrity (regardless of which party they're in), Bush would've been impeached and tried for war crimes a long time ago. If the worst (for him) happens, he'll have the family compound in Paraguay waiting for him. 100,000 acres -- that's enough brush to keep him clearing 'til he dies of old age.

April 21, 2008 at 6:49 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

South America-isn't that where the remnants of the Hitler regime ended up (allegedly)?

April 21, 2008 at 7:24 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Lew: Yup, that's what they say. Bush will be in excellent company down there.

April 21, 2008 at 8:41 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

He will have all that land waiting for him, with troops there to protect him... if he gets there.

Who knows, maybe he will be on a jet for South America as the new president is sworn into office... if a new president is sworn into office.

Seems to me that a hasty, unannounced permanent departure for someplace like Paraguay would amount to an admission of guilt on Bush's part. He has never really admitted to being wrong about anything.

If there really is such a plan in place for him to escape the United States, my guess is that it is his handlers who are arranging things. Bush himself may be too oblivious to believe he has done anything wrong. Would his family go with him? Would Cheney go along?

Actually, I would imagine they will all still be here on 1/20/09, and beyond... and maybe even still in charge. But this sure does provide food for thought and it makes for good ideas for suspense novels or movies.

It must be nice to have the kind of money the Bush family has.

April 22, 2008 at 7:19 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: For somebody like Bush, I don't think guilt is even an issue. Those people hold themselves so far above everybody else, regular people don't even enter their consciousness. If you're slapping away mosquitos at a picnic, you don't feel guilt or accountability towards those mosquitos; and that's pretty much the Bush family's attitude (and other families like them) toward the rest of the world.

If the family does flee to South America, who knows who else will go along. Cheney, Gonzales -- maybe Kenneth Lay is already down there waiting for them. If he actually died two years ago I'll eat my hat.

April 22, 2008 at 9:09 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Hey, there's always one of those man-made islands in the UAE.

April 22, 2008 at 9:59 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: That would be a nice place for him. Even better, one of those little atolls in the middle of the South Pacific where the French used to conduct nuclear tests.

April 22, 2008 at 10:28 AM  
Blogger Jolly Roger said...

Anyone who thinks Chimpy doesn't intend to flee to Paraguay should pay closer attention to the news of the Americas. He most certainly DOES intend to flee; he has to.

The simple fact of the matter is that if the moronic monkey tried to hang on with a declaration of martial law, a huge number of officers and soldiers would defect on the spot. You don't go to the socioeconomic group you're persecuted the most and ask for their protection. Chimpy may not understand this, but it is almost certain that his handlers do.

April 22, 2008 at 12:01 PM  
Blogger Candace said...

Excellent find, Tom! Damn these people. I believe a few months ago we heard about Halliburton changing its domicile to ... was it Dubai? There's no reciprocity with the U.S., so Cheney's safe. Now all the Bushies will be, too.

April 22, 2008 at 12:45 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

JR: I agree that we're not in danger of martial law, for the reasons you stated. I have no personal interest in guns (that could change) but whenever there's speculation about Bush-Cheney canceling the next election, I'm grateful for the millions of armed households in this country. And yes, lots of soldiers and officers would defect too.

I did a post a couple of years ago about Bush's land grab in Paraguay. Project Censored had a story on it.

Candace: I wonder how many Dubai residents and Paraguayans will be simultaneously thinking "there goes the neighborhood."

April 22, 2008 at 1:53 PM  
Blogger PoliShifter said...

I'm sure they will work it out...

As the Old Bush Family saying goes: Where there's a War there's a Way.

Another one they say around the fire place at night at the Bush Home is:

If you can bomb it there's profit

April 22, 2008 at 2:30 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

PoliShifter: "Where there's a war there's a way" -- LOL. I can just picture all the Bush children hearing that folksy saying as they were sitting on Daddy's knee.

April 22, 2008 at 2:34 PM  
Blogger Ron Nasty said...

Must be why Bush wants to set up new free trade agreements with those folk. So he can import whatever he plans on doin' down here to his kool-aid drinkin' followers back here who'd buy anything connected with Bush just to irritate them libberals.

April 22, 2008 at 5:35 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ron: Yup, I'm sure that's Bush's motive. For somebody that slippery, there's always an ulterior motive.

April 22, 2008 at 5:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everybody ends up in South America, Trotsky, Nazi Officials, murderers, so I'm not surprised that the Bush clan is buying up lands to hide out from the calamity they have caused Americans, Iraqis, the world, and future generations. The true character of cowards and greedy bastards, run from the mess they've created.


Jo

April 22, 2008 at 9:38 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jo: Yeah, South America seems to be the magnet for international fugitives. We still talk about World War II criminals whose descendents are in South America; so sixty years from now people will be saying "is it true, the Bush Crime Family is still hiding out somewhere in South America?"

That seems to be the M.O. for people like that: cause incalculable destruction and then flee from the results.

April 22, 2008 at 10:37 PM  

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