Who Hijacked Our Country

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Global Warming and National Security

For conservatives, everything has to be Simple. Loud and Clear. They don’t want none of that there ambiguity or shades of gray; and none of that fuzzy liberal whimpering about “two sides to every issue.” Everything needs to fit neatly and snugly into a box with a label on it: Good. Bad. Black. White. Up. Down.

Unfortunately for the Wingtard Community, two of their favorite mantras — “National Security!” and “global warming is a myth” — have just had a fiery head-on collision.

That background noise you hear is the sound of millions of knuckledraggers simultaneously wailing “ooooohhhhh, my head hurts.”

According to this report, global warming is expected to make these problems even worse: humanitarian disasters, illegal immigration, and precarious governments being destabilized and overthrown. And all of these problems will affect America’s national security.

In answer to the thundering rightwing question “who’s the F#!$%&#!$# moonbat?” — this report was prepared by Tom Fingar, Deputy Director of National Intelligence for Analysis. He said:

“We judge that the most significant impact for the United States will be indirect and result from climate-driven effects on many other countries and their potential to seriously affect U.S. national security interests.”

This is part of a series of reports, which have been prepared by the top analysts of all sixteen American spy agencies.

Sorry Rightwads, back to the drawing board.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Blogger American Hill BIlly said...

I'll go on my "Nut" record, or maybe I should say the Russian, and now our own military record of saying that it is the entire solar system changing. The Mayas gave us the date of 2012; not as an end like all the Neo Con Evangelicals want, but as a new beginning.

The reason they want it simple is that their IQ isn't very high. I actually read a non biased report on this topic. The lower IQ people leaned to the right???? Go figure.

Peace and Freedom

June 25, 2008 at 1:49 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

AHB: That's interesting; so 2012 is supposed to be a new beginning, and not the end. Not that I'm into the Mayan religion or anything, but somebody told me that several religions have pinpointed 2012 as the year of the great reckoning, or the end, or when everything comes to a head, or something. I guess we'll see.

June 25, 2008 at 4:14 PM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

Seems like more and more people are starting to get the fact that climate change, military security and energy issues are all connected. That's one of the reasons the Dems are win big in November.

June 25, 2008 at 5:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dang! Just another in a long list of right wing policies that make us less safer at home.

June 25, 2008 at 5:55 PM  
Blogger Mentarch said...

Roundabout is fairplay, the saying goes ...


June 25, 2008 at 6:35 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

J: Those 3 things certainly are connected. I just hope enough voters will be aware of that next November.

Ron: Yup, another rightwing "fact" goes down in flames.

Mentarch: True, and it's about time.

June 25, 2008 at 8:51 PM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

It's obvious that the potsmoking left has infiltrated the highest levels of power in the intelligence community. No right thinking person would ever deign to think that a few extra days of sun will turn people into jihadists. They turn into jihadists because they hate our freedom!

Enough voters, heh heh. Tom, ever the eternal optimist. ;-)

June 26, 2008 at 10:56 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: That sounds like the best explanation -- those damn treehuggers have infiltrated the CIA. All we can do now is pray and beg for God's mercy :)

June 26, 2008 at 11:11 AM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Don't be surprised if our friends on the hard right follower their great misleader in adopting a "What, me worry?" attitude about all this.

Remember, these are people who think they can create their own reality.

What makes this all the more scary for the rest of us is the kind of realities these people create. Not that abominable results seem to bother them much.

June 26, 2008 at 8:19 PM  
Blogger Cart said...

Well Tom, you don't mince words. I know the right isn't all that bright, but how come they keep collecting all the cash regardless of consequences?

June 26, 2008 at 8:23 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: The rightwing VIPs and power brokers don't care about consequences, since they're sheltered enough to be immune from them. It's easy for them to have a "What me worry" attitude; who cares if somebody else's children die from a famine or civil war.

Cart: Good question. I guess the rightwing "leaders" and money-makers are bright. The thing that always amazes me is how many millions of ordinary people fall in line behind them. Neocon politicians would be powerless if there weren't millions of gullible voters who fall hook line and sinker for everything they say.

June 26, 2008 at 10:37 PM  
Anonymous Kvatch said...

My guess is that Bu$hCo will claim the report got deleted by their spam filter.

June 29, 2008 at 5:43 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Kvatch: Either that, or the dog ate it.

June 29, 2008 at 8:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Global Warning is a tool that so cald progressive or communists, who have been killed millions of innocent peoplle, try to ruin this great county.

July 14, 2008 at 9:36 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

OK, just to show that I'm not trying to censor comments, I went ahead and printed your clueless comment.

July 14, 2008 at 10:07 PM  

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