Who Hijacked Our Country

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Giuliani: “There Was No Iranian Hostage Crisis During the Carter Years”

Who needs Snopes when we have Rudy Giuliani, our walking talking one-man Urban Legend Debunker.

What’s this “9/11” that everybody keeps blubbering about? Apparently, millions of deluded Americans think there was some sort of terrorist attack on that date. Not only that, but it was supposedly a terrorist attack on American soil. [rolls eyes] Christ, what are they putting in our drinking water???

Anyway, Ask Rudy™ — he’ll set you straight. This nation “had no domestic attacks” under President George W. Bush. OK now? Understand???

Rudy is now debunking some of the other urban legends that gullible Americans just can’t seem to let go of. These include:

President Bill Clinton had an affair with one of his interns, right there in the Oval Office. While Clinton was sitting at his desk performing presidential duties, this imaginary intern would crawl underneath his desk and perform her “duties.”

The United States of America invaded Iraq in 1991. It’s true that there was a mysterious fireworks celebration in Baghdad for a few weeks in early 1991. That much you could verify just by turning on the evening news — it looked like some sort of Fourth of July celebration in Baghdad. But somehow a bunch of tinfoil hatters are insisting that those fireworks were actually [smirk] American warplanes dropping bombs on Iraq. WTF???

In the early 1930s there was a “Great Depression” that nearly brought America to her knees. Things were sooo bad — businessmen were jumping out of office windows. Formerly successful people were sitting on street corners selling apples, pencils, anything that might possibly earn them a few pennies. Whenever some Nanny State Liberal wants to create still another giant bloated government program, he/she always invokes this “Great Depression” as the reason we need more faceless government bureaucrats meddling in our lives.

So, you don’t actually believe any of the above claptrap, do you? If so — Ask Rudy™.

In Afghanistan, a private security firm known as Xe wants to help out with their special ops expertise. Xe — hmmm, never heard of ‘em. I guess that should be OK, as long as that fetid F$%&!#%&!#! Blackwater isn’t involved.

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Blogger Beekeepers Apprentice said...

Ok, this is twice some numbskull republican has said there were no terrorist attacks on domestic soil while Bushie was prez. I don't believe for one second that those were both "mispoken" phrases. I'm not sure what they've got in their little minds that they are trying to do (although I have suspicions), but my bullshit meter is going off like a geiger counter in a nuclear waste dump.

January 9, 2010 at 3:21 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Being that this an election year, and Republicans are hurting for money, it makes sense that they would pump disinformation out there to the gullible television watchers. Rudy claims now he "misspoke", but the reality is that the corpocratic war on terror hasn't made us as safe as Rudy "A Noun, A Verb, And 9/11" Ghouliani claimed when he was running for president in 2008. claimed

January 9, 2010 at 5:34 PM  
Blogger Beekeepers Apprentice said...

I almost smell another myth-making getting started - like they're trying to take a play from the Ronnie Raygun playbook - only taking it to the nth degree. I suspect a deeper agenda is on the table. It bears watching.

January 9, 2010 at 7:17 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

There was once another legend-that of a New York Mayor who was supposedly once a Prosecutor that hunted down and stamped out corruption wherever he found it.

As it turns out, this former Mayor was a rotten son of a bitch that used expensive city resources to set up trysts with his many side pieces (his wife, who had once been one of his side pieces, should have seen it coming.) His Police Commissioner also turned out to be one corrupt son of a bitch too.

January 9, 2010 at 8:54 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

It's well established by now that Rudy Giuliani has slightly less credibility than this guy, plus he's a lot less funny.

What amazes me is that after he's made another series of gaffes and bad impressions for lying/getting his facts wrong again, Giuliani gets lost for awhile. But then, after eight or 10 months he starts showing up on the news/talk shows again.

I remember so well Chris Matthews gushing about Giuliani and then over him in late 2007. "Hey, I love this guy; I think he's great!" Matthews seemed to think Mayor 9-11 was going to be hot stuff in the 2008 election. Turns out he was, too, but it was like something hot you wouldn't want to step in.

So this latest li'l oopsie comes as no surprise. Whether he was lying through his teeth or just got his facts wrong again matters little. The key point is that this guy deserves zero credibility about anything.

January 9, 2010 at 9:49 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Bee: I agree. Giuliani is willing to make himself a laughingstock for the greater goal of the Big Lie Technique. Everybody's bullshit meter should be shooting into the red zone. If they keep up this series of "oops, what I meant was" and "I misspoke," there'll be millions of dumfucks out there who'll only remember "no domestic attacks under Bush" and "but we have had domestic attacks under Obama."

Lew: Yup, there's gold in them thar gullible couch potatoes.

JR: Giuliani's reign as mayor was definitely "questionable" to say the least. He was good at setting up images and illusions -- NYC's crime was supposedly way down, police departments are no longer corrupt, New Yorkers are all nice to each other now and everybody's happy. He used that same image-making skill after 9/11 when he became "America's Mayor."

SW: Good analogy with Joe Isuzu.

Hot stuff in the 2008 election, LOL. Giuliani was the most obnoxious politician I've ever seen when he was at that 2008 Republican Convention. Sarah Palin was grating and irritating enough, but I wanted to throw something at Giuliani.

It's true that he has zero credibility, but unfortunately there are a lot of gullible people out there.

January 10, 2010 at 12:11 PM  
Blogger Holte Ender said...

Guiliani is taking a leaf out of another prominent Republican, commentator Mary Matalin, who said pretty much the same thing. We have come to expect these lying toads to spout crap, but what's new is the media people interviewing them are letting it be said without calling them out.

January 11, 2010 at 6:36 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Holte: Funny how the "liberal media" lets the wingtards get away with one lie after another.

January 11, 2010 at 11:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rudy's family problems have ruined him with the far right. So he must be going for some kind of favor from the party.

Between him, Cheney and others, I feel we have a preview of campaign 2010. "Are you safer now then you were when we were in charge?" - a nice one-two punch with the economy.

Stay Tuned


January 11, 2010 at 12:47 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

Sure America's Mayor (insert trademark symbol) "misspoke", but he must have done it purposefully. Why else would he say stuff like he's saying now? What a piece of stool the guy is.

I find this particularly dismaying because the guys on the right are always the ones accusing their political opponents of perpetrating "revisionist history".

So this is simply more projection on their part. They tell gullible Americans that we on the left are the bad guys who want to rewrite history, while THEY go about the business of rewriting it themselves, for their own nefarious purposes.

These people are virtually going to stop at nothing to regain power in Congress in 2010 and to elect one of their loathsome fascistic types to the White House in 2012. If we think the bullshit meters are starting to go off the charts, just wait. This is probably only the very beginning!

Speaking of bullshit meters, how about this from the "Will Wonders Never Cease" department...


January 11, 2010 at 3:57 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: I'm staying tuned all right. Should be loads of fun listening to all the spewings from Cheney, Giuliani, Palin and the rest of them.

Snave: Yup, a "piece of stool" describes Giuliani. This is definitely the time for everyone to watch their bullshit meters as the needle hits the red.

Sarah Palin at Fox -- a match made in Heaven. She'll fit right in with the Hannitys and all the other misfits.

January 11, 2010 at 6:07 PM  
Blogger Ricardo said...

Has he gone mad?

I have mixed feelings about him because he really did pull NYC back from the brink through the 90s. He was a great crime fighter and while Times Square has now been reduced to a Disney like theme park, it's safe. New York as far as crime goes is way down. It continues to go down even under Bloomberg but If Rudy wasn't in there first, I don't think that would happen.

However, the city became much too costly and forced the middle class to scale back more and even leave it. The city still remains cost prohibitive and fatcats like Bloomberg may like it that way for all I know.

I'm shocked at how this guy has lost his marbles. I wonder if this way of thinking is the real reason crime went down in the big apple. They weren't murders they were....incidents.

January 15, 2010 at 11:06 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ricardo: I haven't been to New York in a long time. I've heard that Greenwich Village and Times Square have lost all their character; they're more like theme parks now. I'm glad the crime rate is down, but I hate to see neighborhoods become all sterile and homogenized.

In any case Giuliani has totally lost it now. When I heard part of his speech at the '08 Republican Convention I thought he was ready for a white straitjacket, and he's gone downhill since then.

January 16, 2010 at 7:11 PM  

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