Giuliani: “There Was No Iranian Hostage Crisis During the Carter Years”
Who needs Snopes when we have Rudy Giuliani, our walking talking one-man Urban Legend Debunker.
What’s this “9/11” that everybody keeps blubbering about? Apparently, millions of deluded Americans think there was some sort of terrorist attack on that date. Not only that, but it was supposedly a terrorist attack on American soil. [rolls eyes] Christ, what are they putting in our drinking water???
Anyway, Ask Rudy™ — he’ll set you straight. This nation “had no domestic attacks” under President George W. Bush. OK now? Understand???
Rudy is now debunking some of the other urban legends that gullible Americans just can’t seem to let go of. These include:
President Bill Clinton had an affair with one of his interns, right there in the Oval Office. While Clinton was sitting at his desk performing presidential duties, this imaginary intern would crawl underneath his desk and perform her “duties.”
The United States of America invaded Iraq in 1991. It’s true that there was a mysterious fireworks celebration in Baghdad for a few weeks in early 1991. That much you could verify just by turning on the evening news — it looked like some sort of Fourth of July celebration in Baghdad. But somehow a bunch of tinfoil hatters are insisting that those fireworks were actually [smirk] American warplanes dropping bombs on Iraq. WTF???
In the early 1930s there was a “Great Depression” that nearly brought America to her knees. Things were sooo bad — businessmen were jumping out of office windows. Formerly successful people were sitting on street corners selling apples, pencils, anything that might possibly earn them a few pennies. Whenever some Nanny State Liberal wants to create still another giant bloated government program, he/she always invokes this “Great Depression” as the reason we need more faceless government bureaucrats meddling in our lives.
So, you don’t actually believe any of the above claptrap, do you? If so — Ask Rudy™.
In Afghanistan, a private security firm known as Xe wants to help out with their special ops expertise. Xe — hmmm, never heard of ‘em. I guess that should be OK, as long as that fetid F$%&!#%&!#! Blackwater isn’t involved.