Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Diagnosis for U.S. Senate: Severe Constipation

The House of Representatives has passed two hundred and ninety bills (that's 290!!!) which are now stalled in the Senate. Is this what “Majority Rule” is supposed to mean???

How’s this “bipartisanship” working out for us???

Some of the blocked legislation includes bills for:

Health care reform;

Climate change;

Food safety;

Job security for wounded veterans;

Vision care for children;

Improving absentee ballot voting;

Improving cyber-security;

and the Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act.

Had enough yet?

A constipated person doesn’t function very well. Sometimes a laxative is necessary. Exceptionally severe cases (such as this one) might call for a super powerful explosive laxative. The Infamous Forty-One Republican senators — and a few “moderate” Democrats — are the decaying putrifying fecal matter that’s causing this dangerous blockage. The Body Politic is infected, infested, swollen; and needs to be unclogged. Now.

We need to do whatever it takes — reconciliation, executive orders — to get that shit out of the way ASAP.

If this severe problem doesn’t get taken care of NOW, the United States of America could end up having a Mr. Creosote episode. And we wouldn’t want that now, would we?

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Blogger Holte Ender said...

The House has tried to do it's job by sending 290 bills to the Senate and yet Pelosi gets hammered by the Republicans. Perhaps she is criticized for attempting to make the "Lordly" Senators pull a decent shift, to stop clogging up the pundit and talking head shows and be about the peoples business. Something they are not very practiced at.

My grandmother had a perfect cure for constipation, it involved a firm hand and soap enemas.

February 25, 2010 at 6:02 AM  
Blogger Demeur said...

But the real kicker is how the rethuglicans are saying how they're doing such a wonderful job. "See me hand out this big stimulus check that I voted against. Just remember it didn't create any jobs." More tax cuts for the wealthy.
Yeah I think we need to give somebody an ennema in the fall elections Democrat or republican.

February 25, 2010 at 10:01 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Kent Brockman was right.

February 25, 2010 at 10:11 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Holte: The Senate is "higher" and more formal and proper than the House. In the linked article, somebody was saying this puts House members in closer touch with the public; the Senate is too detached and out of touch. Not to mention that senators are only up for re-election every 6 years instead of 2.

You're right, they could do something more useful with their time than these constant TV appearances. Bring on the enema.

Demeur: Yup, time for an enema; time to clear out all that shit and dead wood.

Randal: Why haven't we listened to him?

February 25, 2010 at 10:37 AM  
Anonymous Jess said...

It will make no difference what the dems do, the reps will NOT be voting for any of it. I say let the kabuki play out today, then get to 51 votes.

I'm watching the debate while doing some class work, yeah right doing classwork ;). I am watching the debate. Loved it when PO told Mccrankypants the election and campaigns were over. I thought old boy was going to have a stroke right there in front of everyone. Eric Cantor too, what a schmuck. Talking about, yes we all get those letters about "alleged" abuse from our constituents. WTF, he is like a smarmy little shit isn't he? Now I have got to get back to pretending to do classwork.

February 25, 2010 at 12:09 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

The Rushpubliscums are a cancer. I'm not sure this patient has any hope of survival.

February 25, 2010 at 12:58 PM  
Anonymous Thomas said...

In the words of Jack Nicholson's Joker, "This town needs and enema!"

February 25, 2010 at 1:02 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: I haven't watched any live proceedings, but I read about the exchange between Obama and McSame. Yes, those "alleged" abuses committed by HMOs; no doubt just ugly rumors being spread by comminists.

JR: A cancer is exactly what the GOP is. I hope we can get all the tumors removed in time.

Thomas: And that's exactly what the town needs.

February 25, 2010 at 1:43 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Hey JR I live with NHL* and have for several years. It is in remission right now but could possibly come back, so there is a way of living with it and it does not affect most of your life. We could just treat the reps the same way, you know you have it, but you just keep going about doing what you are doing, by kind of putting it in the back of your mind. Kinda like that nagging headache you get, you know it will go away, it just is painful temporarily. Know what I mean?

*Non Hodgkins Lymphoma

February 25, 2010 at 2:11 PM  
Blogger jadedj said...

What is possibly even worse than the Republican clog is the fact that Dems are letting them get away with it.

The real problem is the length of time the fuckers are allowed to hold office. Ostensibly, their entire lives, given any luck and enough PAC money. That is bullshit. I have advocated the idea of no re-election for the Senate for years. One term of six years is enough. This would eliminate the insanity of capital fever. If we can limit the terms of the President, then why should the Senate be any different. That would be enema enough, methinks.

February 25, 2010 at 3:48 PM  
Blogger Mauigirl said...

Darn, Thomas beat me to it, I was going to suggest the same cure!

February 25, 2010 at 5:10 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: Sorry you have NHL. But that does make a good analogy -- working around an illness, which the Republicans are.

jadedj: I'm with you on that. I'm a lot more pissed at the Democrats for doing their impersonation of a doormat, or a deer caught in the headlights. After a point, you realize Republicans are just gonna be Republicans. You can't blame a snake for being a snake. But if the Democrats keep letting themselves get walked on, we're all fucked.

Mauigirl: That might be the only cure that'll work.

February 25, 2010 at 6:48 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Oh don't feel bad for me Tom, I am healthy and one of those that fight to be here. I went through two sets of chemo and radiation treatments and had GREAT insurance and mom had money, if it had been necessary, to be able to do that.

Too many people are going without the insurance and the ability to get a treatment to take care of these things immediately. That is the thing we should all feel sorry for. The financial stress that many families have to go through is disgusting. This is when people need to concentrate on getting better, you know, not worrying about will I have the money to pay for this treatment or that medication. Will I have to fight the insurance company today to get that treatment I (generic) need or will I have to wait till they say okay we will cover that. The real death panel in other words. It is shameful and I'll tell you the more I watched that meeting today the more I wanted to go punch some people in the face and I am really a pacifist. If I heard one time, we need to do tort reform and start from a clean sheet of paper once I heard it at least a dozen times. One moron was comparing this to an etch a sketch. I mean come on, what is that all about? No need to answer, it will be a new talking point for the Lisa's of the world tomorrow. I think it was Dick Durbin that talked about tort reform only being .005 or some such tiny % of 1% helping get rid of 50 billion over 10 yrs. While that is real money it is not even pocket change, but the skeevs that are republicans think this is the answer to all things. Durbin even said how can you expect a person that has been hurt to just be satisfied with 250k or some small number.

I don't know why these reps are allowed to just lie over and over again, without being called out for it. Media just does not want to show the public the truth. I watched some of the CNN coverage and they were showing the reps side for the most part, cutting away when dems were talking. Kyl after the meeting said PO talked too much. HELLO, he is the president of the damn country and he called the meeting you ass boils were asking for. That is an area I would LOVE to see fixed, the Fairness Doctrine needs to be updated.

February 25, 2010 at 7:15 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Jaded, they think this is like the house of lords, in that, once you are in you don't have to leave. There is no way these people in the senate would give up that little club ever. The only fault I would think, would be the seniority thing in getting things back to your district. See but then you look at people like Ted Kennedy, who did so much for so many and go wow if we could have 100 of him it would be great. He was there for many years but did the work for the country, not what a lot of them are doing and have done.

February 25, 2010 at 7:20 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Thomas offered a great, fitting quote. The ones to do the job, if they will, are the voters.

Unfortunately, too many Republicans come from states that have a demonstrated preference for senators and representatives whose condition is more a case of being full of it on a permanent basis than being bogged down with a bout of constipation. So the real answer would be for voters to administer a high colonic to the House and Senate as institutions, flushing those who are full of it from the system.

Oh, happy day! I hope I live to see it.

February 25, 2010 at 9:32 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: You're right, it's that combination of being sick and simultaneously wondering how you're gonna pay for treatment, or if you'll have to go without treatment because you can't pay. I can just imagine the horror of hearing a terrible diagnosis for a loved one, and simultaneously thinking "Are we gonna lose the house? Will we lose our life savings?"

It's inexcusable, and it means this country is no better than any other third world pesthole (in that respect, anyway).

SW: A high colonic to the House and Senate -- OK, stand back.

February 26, 2010 at 1:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What Durbin left out is that if we do tort reform it would also bring down the cost of medical procedures having to do defensive medicine.
If we go Universal defensive medicine would be cut anyway.

February 26, 2010 at 8:37 AM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Tom or hearing it about your kid and know that there is not a thing you wouldn't do for that child. That was what mom had to hear and many mom's like her. The difference was, I was still on her insurance at the time, because I was going through grad school. Lot of parents have to file for bankruptcy after a treatment like the ones I had to go through. It is truly shameful and I am watching some on the other side like our anon poster here just blabbity blah about defensive meds and how doctors that might screw up should not be held accountable. The only reason he probably did not pick it up, this is a repub talking point, it's like they don't have ideas so they just go by what Luntz has told them on any given day. Go look him up, I'm not doing your research for you, not today. It is sickening and very disheartening to know that I live in a world where there are people that have no compassion for others. SICKENING. Whoever you are today anon, I hope this NEVER happens to you, where you have to have the jar at the local market to help with your treatments for one thing or the other. That should not be happening and left up to people like Coburn, Enzi and the rest, counters all over America would have charity jars so our taxes could not be used for good. But hey, let's use that money for bombing the shit out of other countries, yay and if they have brown folks, maybe some oil all the better. People like you, literally make me sick Anon,Lisa or whoever the hell you are pretending to be today.

February 26, 2010 at 12:59 PM  
Blogger TomCat said...

Easy to interpret the constipation issue. The Senate is constipated, because the GOP is full of crap!

February 27, 2010 at 9:52 AM  

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