Who Hijacked Our Country

Saturday, February 06, 2010

Super Bowl XLIV

No, sorry, this post isn’t about the 2010 Super Bowl.

Gotcha!

It’s just a hodgepodge of wacky news stories and personalities from the past few days.

Take this Buttwipe (please!): The nerve of this flaming douchebag — placing a legislative hold on all SEVENTY of Obama’s pending nominations. Richard Shelby (R-Inbred) is clearly the winner of this week’s ________________________ Award. (Sorry, I’m all out of expletives at the moment. Insert your own.)

But that’s not all. Shelby’s reason for his would-be coup d’état — he wants MORE earmarks, more pork, for his district. He wants MORE government spending?!?!

What do these people have to say about it? Isn’t this what they’ve been protesting against for the past year? Too much government, too much spending and — in particular — Earmarks. Pork. Well, where are they now? Did they all suddenly curl up and die? (Ah, Christmas in February.)

Another convicted felon for bigotry: A certain convicted perjurer is horrified — terrified! — at the idea of repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Oh My God, if homosexuals are allowed to desecrate our armed forces with that — that icky thing they do — what’ll happen next? Military chaplains will be forced, at gunpoint, to perform gay marriage ceremonies. And after that, members of NAMBLA will start enlisting, and they’ll seduce and corrupt our vulnerable young soldiers. OK, we’ve been warned. Thank you Oliver North.

Yes, there’s been still another remake of The Blob — and this is the scariest one yet! Previously, sixty terrified petrified Democratic senators were cowering and quivering in the corner, trying desperately to shrink away from the approaching monster — Forty Republican senators! And now, just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse — there are FORTY-ONE of them!!!! And that quaking little puddle of sixty Democrats has shrunk down to only fifty-nine. And the Blob is moving closer! And now —

(to be continued)

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15 Comments:

Blogger TomCat said...

Tom, the First Church of the Ellipsoid Orb has declared you apostate for using the name of the highest holy day in vain. ;-)

February 6, 2010 at 12:36 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

I think Sen. Reid ought to see if he can get impeachment proceedings going against Shelby. No, they probably wouldn't succeed. But the attempt would make the sleazy SOB sweat. It might also send a message to the rest of the conservative Republican/neoconfederate dregs that, despite years of evidence to the contrary, Democrats can play hardball.

February 6, 2010 at 1:40 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

What is worse about Shelby and his deal, he wants to get the money for a foreign company. There was something had happened during commander cuckoo bananas admin with the contract between Boeing and EADS the company Shelby is getting coin from. The contract had been screwed up and they were giving one or the other of them, basically, a do over on re writing it. Another thing to add to the mess that was Bush. Come on, when the reps do it, it is okay, you have to learn this and you will be all right Tom. Isn't there a recess coming up soon? Reid already made some noise about PO doing recess appointments to get all 70 of them in. This is the exact reason commander cuckoo bananas was able to burrow people after Clinton. They had so many positions to fill due to holds on nominees by reps. Same thing happening here, move along nothing to see as far as they are concerned.


Where are the baggers indeed. They are all in TN, all 600 of them being coddled by the Foxness monster and international news crews, I am not making that up. That works up to ,12 people per state, why are they being taken seriously again? Showing all their stupidity in one place. Waiting for the main event tonight with Bible spice, who has said, I won't be making anything financially out of this and whatever I do make will be put back into the cause. AYUP, and in more news watch for pigs come flying from my butt and I film it for You Tube.

Oliver North with his stupidity, Duncan Hunter Jr with, this will allow trans people and bisexuals along with hermaphrodites, who this moron thinks that is a sexual preference. I swear these people pull facts from their asses and their followers just go along with it. The numbers show, pedophilia is committed by more straight people. This just makes it easier for them to demonize another group. I think Mr Hunter might be in need of some literature on what that term means, and I will research it over this weekend and get that right out to him Monday in the morning. Not kidding about that either. There was some right wing loon during the week talking about if they let gays serve it would lead to tattoos too. I mean, the stoopid it really does burn sometimes.

Where have you been Tom? Don't you know that in Talibagger land, 41 is the majority. Supposedly Brown has told constituents back in MA, that he will be an independent vote. I guess we will see that this week, when votes are called for any number of things on the senate schedule, how he is an independent voice for MA won't we? You know what makes this worse with him, in my mind, he got Kennedy's old office space. I thought office space was handed out by seniority. He should not have the office being there 2 days, that a man had to work almost 50 yrs for. Something just strikes me as odd about that.

February 6, 2010 at 2:58 PM  
Blogger Ricardo said...

I will not be partaking in the super bowl fun. I can't get into it.

This guy is the moron of the year. I couldn't believe the story when I first saw it.

February 6, 2010 at 4:28 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

TomCat: True, I'll have to face the holy wrath on Judgment Day for such sacreligious activity.

SW: I don't know if the threat of impeachment would scare Shelby or not. The Democrats have turned into such paper tigers, I don't think they even scare anybody any more. They can start playing hardball any time now.

Jess: Yup, that's what it comes down to -- when Republicans pull this same shit, it's perfectly OK. I guess all 600 of the teabaggers are in Tennessee, preening before the cameras with their misspelled signs, waiting for Mooselini to appear.

I always knew Oliver North was one of the biggest goons out there; now he turns out to be even worse than I thought.

Ricardo: Yup, moron of the year. Unless that's an insult to morons.

February 6, 2010 at 6:23 PM  
Blogger Holte Ender said...

Oliver North, since he first found his true calling, telling lies, has creeped me out, I'm sure he must have had dreams of something great as payback for taking a bullet over Iran/Contra, but all he got was Fox News. A very bitter man.

February 7, 2010 at 12:14 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Holte: You're right, North probably got screwed over by the people he took a bullet for. But it couldn't have happened to a nicer person.

February 7, 2010 at 1:47 AM  
Blogger Beekeepers Apprentice said...

You can always use my old standby, Turkey of the Week Award, if you want. It fits Shelby, that's for sure. What a turd.

February 7, 2010 at 9:16 AM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Where's John McCain? Remember how pissed off he was in '08 over earmarks and pork? Shouldn't he be venting his spleen right now? Shouldn't Palin be right there, talking about cutting government spending?
How about Cheney and his favorite talking point, the threat to national security?
Naw, no, nope, you will never find the Superminority turning on one of their own, no matter how stoopid they behave.

February 7, 2010 at 11:36 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Bee: Yes, Turkey of the Week would fit. Or something less printable.

Lew: This one incident shows the Right's true colors, more than any other incident I can think of. National security, government spending, earmarks -- every one of these "policies" of theirs was violated by Shelby, and not a peep out of any of them.

February 7, 2010 at 11:57 AM  
Anonymous Carlos said...

Shelby is a Grade A shit stain, and a fucking baby. He's kicking and stomping because his companies didn't win the contract. Protests aren't anything new to the federal contracting world.

EADS is a foreign company (or foreign subsidiary - I can't remember). They have their fingers in a ton of federal contracts. I've seen them in action before, and am not at all impressed by their ground-level worker bees or the people who hire them. Sad.

February 8, 2010 at 2:57 AM  
Anonymous Kvatch said...

I fracking love Ollie North! When I lived in Virginia, he was kicking around politics, running for Senate and stuff like that, and all I ever had to do to point out everything that was wrong with VA politics was say, "But if we're not careful, North may end up as our Senator."

February 8, 2010 at 7:51 AM  
Blogger Miss Kitty said...

[sigh]

I agree with S.W., though. Perhaps that would get things going.

Or maybe I could just drive over to Birmingham next time ol' Dick's back in his district, and knock the ever-loving shit out of him.

February 8, 2010 at 10:14 AM  
Blogger TomCat said...

It was a great game, Tom. I hope Shelby had a big bet on the Colts. Peyton giges guite a bit to the GOP.

February 8, 2010 at 11:19 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Carlos: Yup, Grade A shit stain is a good description of Shelby.

Kvatch: Senator Oliver North, what a nightmare.

Miss Kitty: Now that would be worth a trip to Birmingham.

TomCat: LOL. I too hope Shelby had lots of money bet on the Colts. But he can afford it.

February 8, 2010 at 12:41 PM  

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