Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, May 17, 2010

NRA: “Guns?!?!? Eww! Those Things Are Dangerous!”

Gee, what happened to “Guns don’t kill people; people kill people.” “A well armed society is a polite society.” “You can take my gun when you pry it from my cold dead child.” Er, I mean “hands.”

At a nationwide NRA convention over the weekend, No Guns Were Allowed. Ooookay!

This no-guns rule came from the Charlotte Convention Center where the convention was held; not from the NRA itself. But the NRA chose that location for their convention. You’d think they might choose a place that doesn’t walk all over their main belief — their whole reason for existence.

Oh well. Maybe a few of them toted along their “I came unarmed. This time” signs.

And now, our new vocabulary word for the day. Slavery was such a harsh word; such an archaic outdated term. From now on it will be politely referred to as the Atlantic Triangular Trade.

Got that? This is just one of many new interesting facts our future students will be learning from their Texas history textbooks.

And speaking of Texas: Here’s a state with an $11 billion budget shortfall, and millions of residents who just hate government bureaucrats who waste their tax dollars. Their swashbuckling hero, Governor Rick Perry, hates big government and wasteful bureaucrats so much, he wants to secede from this socialist cesspool and establish his own Republic of Texas.

And now they find out this bastion of rugged individualism and self-reliance has spent $600,000 — taxpayer dollars! — on his own personal residence near the capital. Taxpayers have been spending $10,000 a month to pay the rent on Governor Perry’s 5-bedroom 3-dining room mansion. While he’s basking in this taxpayer largesse, Perry is asking all state agencies to cut their own budgets by five percent; and a lot of state employees are facing reduced hours.

Ah yes, We The People.

Now is it just me, or is Las Vegas a little unclear on the concept? Las Vegas is undergoing a huge homebuilding spree. There’s either a resurgence in the housing market, or they’re just pretending there’s one.

In any case, thousands of new homes are being frantically built. This is all fine and good, except for odd little detail: As a result of the housing meltdown, Las Vegas already has ten thousand brand new houses that were never sold. They’re sitting empty. And there are another five thousand almost-new houses that were foreclosed after just a few months. They too are just sitting there empty, waiting to be used for — well, something.

And meanwhile developers are digging and paving and building as fast as they can to keep up with this new housing boom — if there even is one — while fifteen thousand already-built houses are sitting there unoccupied; unused.

What’s wrong with this picture?

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Anonymous Carlos said...

Yeah...We The People. Fucking idiots are destroying education. Fucking Texas is amazing. Fucking Perry. Fucking ignorant fucks.

I'm never moving ther....Oh. Shit. Wait. I live here. Fuck. How'd I end up here again? Just look at me as one of the few Blue Crusaders in a scary Red State.

May 18, 2010 at 1:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So more Southern Revisionist History eh? makes you wonder again who won the war!

When I was a kid in the 60's I used to read Slavery was the fault of the Savage African Kings that sold them and the Muslim Arabs that traded them, NOT the Christian Europeans that bought them.

Nothing's changed, we blame the Nasty Colombians for making drugs we are buying.


May 18, 2010 at 4:30 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Hey, when you've got hair as swanky as Perry, you need a house to match. As for the Vegas housing boom, maybe Michael Bay is opening a studio out there. Much cooler to blow up an actual house instead of a CGI one. I can't help you with the NRA folks. Maybe they found a temporary proxy for their penis problems.

May 18, 2010 at 7:31 AM  
Blogger TomCat said...

Perhaps the NRA was afraid that a 'librul' might come armed. ;-)

May 18, 2010 at 12:03 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Carlos: I sure hope a lot of Texans are pissed off about this. That governor is just a fuckin' insult.

Erik: That's true, nothing's changed. America's drug problems are caused by dirt-poor farmers in Columbia growing coca leaves and even poorer farmers in Afghanistan growing opium poppies.

Randal: That's true, Perry needs a multi-million dollar mansion to match his swanky hair. "A temporary proxy for their penis problems," LOL.

TomCat: Uh oh, an armed liberal -- we need a big government crackdown.

May 18, 2010 at 1:57 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Ok now I am all confused. First it was guns don't kill people, people kill people. I thought it may have been the bullet piercing the skin and causing fatal injury that killed people. I need to read up on what it is that kills now.

Oh Tom, how many times do I have to say it hmmm ;)? It is ok if you are a republican. IOKIYAR, see a nice little abbreviation for you to remember.

I saw yesterday one of our state legislators, will be bringing forth an amendment to check any textbook we get here in CA so we don't have to do the Dummies guide to History from Texas. I feel so sorry for all those kids there that have to put up with substandard educations I really do. It's like that George Carlin routine about, Shell shock being changed to PTSD because it sounds nicer.

As far as Governor Goodhair and his mansion, hopefully he will not be there after this election and don't you kow how hard it is to keep a place clean without using 18k on cleaning supplies? I guess not. I know for a fact it costs me way less than that, because I use lemon juice, bleach, vinegar, baking soda, salt and so on to clean the house. Maybe I should write the good guv and show him how to clean green for less than 18k a year.

May 18, 2010 at 3:03 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Erik, you may be onto something there with the let's blame someone else when I screwed up. The republicans are masters of doing that for everything and anything. I just read this morning, that the guy Souder from Indiana, will be resigning after having an affair with a female staffer.

Ok, so here is part of his resignation letter. It is all in caps as he wrote it, this part happens to be my favorite part. He is blaming the DC atmosphere for his personal shortcomings. If that is not chutzpah(sp) I have no idea what is. I got to wondering, what gay marriage destroyed this guys "opposite sex" marriage, that is neither here nor there though. Another thing that leaped out at me, why is he saying mutual relationship? You know, all he has to do is say sorry to the big guy in the sky and all will be forgiven. Isn't that how they do it? Newt, Ghouliani, Ensign, Sanford et al.




May 18, 2010 at 3:14 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

I always knew Perry was a douche, and remember, you can't spell fucking hypocrite without GOP.

May 18, 2010 at 6:02 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: Guns don't kill. It's liberalism that kills. Secularism and liberalism are destroying America's values and sapping her work ethic and moral fiber.

That new euphemism for slavery is the wackiest euphemism I've heard yet.

Lew: I hope Perry doesn't get re-elected, but I don't know if any of his opponents would be any better.

May 18, 2010 at 7:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was coming, Newt Gingrich was a Southern revisionist history teacher before he went into politics. When he took over as speaker all of a sudden there was a assault on established history. I remember watching Pat Buchanan and Rush Limbaugh attacking women and ethnic histories as being "revisionist".

Dr. Loewen (Lies my teacher taught me) gets calls from conservative radio host accusing him of rewriting history, and more of the country has seemed to bought on to the revisionist "States Rights" reason for the Civil War and their "Birth of a Nation" view of Reconstruction.

I had a classmate get his doctorate in History and he got offers from Universities all over the country. One of them was "Ole Miss" and I asked him was he was going to take it?

His response "what and relearn history?"


May 19, 2010 at 12:07 AM  

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