NRA wants to Exterminate the World's Elephants

The United States is leading the global crackdown on the poaching of elephants for their tusks.  The U.S. has destroyed six tons of ivory — all of the ivory that's been intercepted over the past thirty years.  And the governments of China, Togo and France have followed suit.

Everybody in the world seems to be in favor of cracking down on the ivory trade.  Everybody except for the poachers themselves.  Oh, and the National Rifle Association (NRA). The NRA has instructed its 3 million inbreds to bombard Congress with phone calls, demanding that they block the Obama Administration from joining the ivory embargo.

What has the NRA's panties in a twist?  (What doesn't, for that matter?)  The ivory embargo includes a ban on the import or export of any item that contains ivory.  Antiques are exempt from the ban.  A White House announcement stated:

“This ban is the best way to help ensure that U.S. markets do not contribute to the further decline of African elephants in the wild.”

And this is why the NRA's drool cups are shaking and rattling up a storm.  Somebody somewhere might not be able to re-sell his/her gun collection if these guns contain ivory and don't qualify as an antique.  (In case any wingtards are reading this, an antique has to be at least 100 years old.)  Not to mention, of course, that this ivory embargo is just another thinly-disguised attempt by Barack Hussein Obama to take our guns away.

An NRA spokesman explained it to his useful idiots:

“This is another attempt by this anti-gun Administration to ban firearms based on cosmetics and would render many collections/firearms valueless.  Any firearm, firearm accessory, or knife that contains ivory, no matter how big or small, would not be able to be sold in the United States, unless it is more than 100 years old. This means if your shotgun has an ivory bead or inlay, your revolver or pistol has ivory grips, your knife has an ivory handle, or if your firearm accessories, such as cleaning tools that contain any ivory, the item would be illegal to sell.”

Oh My God!  All this trouble and inconvenience just for a herd of big smelly old elephants?!?

To be fair, the NRA does have another bedfellow besides ivory poachers and their customers.  The Lord's Resistance Army finances some of its terrorist atrocities by poaching elephants and selling the ivory.

The Lord's Resistance Army and the NRA — birds of a feather.  Why is this not surprising?

Say Something Nasty about the NRA, Get Fired

Journalism professor David Guth hasn’t been fired.  Yet.  But this is a perfect example of why politicians are scared shitless of the National Rifle Association and its army of useful idiots.  If a politician says anything negative about guns or the NRA, the NRA will spend whatever it takes to defeat him/her in the next election.

And if a university professor says something bad about guns, the NRA will use its considerable political clout [see above] to get him fired and blacklisted.  Some of these gun fetishists are so fixated on the Second Amendment, they can’t even grasp why it’s called the Second Amendment.  And that brings us to today’s remedial history lesson:  The Second Amendment is called the Second Amendment because……drum roll……there’s a First Amendment that comes right before it.

I’m pretty neutral about the whole gun issue, so I’m not taking sides here.  But I would have thought the First Amendment would protect someone’s right to make obnoxious comments about the NRA.  Regarding the Washington Navy Yard shootings, Professor David Guth tweeted:

“Blood is on the hands of the #NRA. Next time, let it be YOUR sons and daughters.”

OK, it was a little tasteless.  [see First Amendment above]

Earlier, David Guth had written the following blog post:

“The news of the senseless slaughter today at Washington’s Navy Yard has me again questioning how we can let this madness continue. Frankly, I don’t care if I am criticized for being too quick to judge, too harsh in my criticism or too strident in my tone. The time has passed for niceties and tact. The blood spilled today is on the hands of the National Rifle Association. I don’t care how the NRA tries to spin this.”

The University of Kansas has placed David Guth on indefinite administrative leave.  Guth agreed with this decision, saying:

“It is in the best interests and peace of mind of our students that I remove myself from the situation and let cooler heads prevail.  I know what I meant. Unfortunately, this is a topic that generates more heat than light.”

But that wasn’t enough for the gun masturbators.  The NRA summoned two of its leading prostitutes in the Kansas legislature and ordered them to drop their drawers.  State senate majority leader Terry Bruce and state rep. Brett Hildabrand — both of whose elections were heavily financed by the NRA — performed their tricks as ordered.  Both have demanded that the University of Kansas fire Professor David Guth.

And the Kansas State Rifle Association said it “will do everything possible” to see that David Guth is removed.  When a group of gun worshipers says it “will do everything possible,” what exactly are they referring to?

NRA alert: Obama is NOT planning to Take Away Our Guns!!!

All right, that does it!!!  That sneaky Kenyan Muslim president of ours has gone too far this time.  Obama is, is [sputter] He’s NOT going to take away our guns!

What?!?!?!?  It’s a conspiracy!  He’s got something up his sleeve; I just know it.  Wayne LaPierre, executive vice president of the National Rifle Association, has brought us this dire warning (the linked article has his speech on YouTube):

“The Obama campaign will say gun owners — they’ll say they left them alone.  In public, he’ll remind us that he’s put off calls from his party to renew the Clinton assault weapons ban, he hasn’t pushed for new gun control laws… The president will offer the Second Amendment lip service and hit the campaign trail saying he’s actually been good for the Second Amendment.  But it’s a big fat stinking lie!  It’s all part of a massive Obama conspiracy to deceive voters and destroy the Second Amendment in our country.  Obama himself is no fool. So when he got elected, they concocted a scheme to stay away from the gun issue, lull gun owners to sleep and play us for fools in 2012. Well, gun owners are not fools and we are not fooled.  Sotomayor, Kagan, Fast & Furious, the United Nations, executive orders. Those are the facts we face today… President Obama and his cohorts, yeah, they’re going to deny their conspiracy to fool gun owners. Some in the liberal media, they are already probably blogging about it. But we don’t care because the lying, conniving Obama crowd can kiss our Constitution!”

Which “Constitution” is that — The one that says corporations are people, money equals speech and fetuses are sacred?

In a related story:  there’s been a shocking horrifying discovery that Obama’s Affordable Care Act does NOT contain any Death Panels.  What an outrage!!!

Teabaggers — it’s time to take our country back!

NRA: “Guns?!?!? Eww! Those Things Are Dangerous!”

Gee, what happened to “Guns don’t kill people; people kill people.” “A well armed society is a polite society.” “You can take my gun when you pry it from my cold dead child.” Er, I mean “hands.”

At a nationwide NRA convention over the weekend, No Guns Were Allowed. Ooookay!

This no-guns rule came from the Charlotte Convention Center where the convention was held; not from the NRA itself. But the NRA chose that location for their convention. You’d think they might choose a place that doesn’t walk all over their main belief — their whole reason for existence.

Oh well. Maybe a few of them toted along their “I came unarmed. This time” signs.

And now, our new vocabulary word for the day. Slavery was such a harsh word; such an archaic outdated term. From now on it will be politely referred to as the Atlantic Triangular Trade.

Got that? This is just one of many new interesting facts our future students will be learning from their Texas history textbooks.

And speaking of Texas: Here’s a state with an $11 billion budget shortfall, and millions of residents who just hate government bureaucrats who waste their tax dollars. Their swashbuckling hero, Governor Rick Perry, hates big government and wasteful bureaucrats so much, he wants to secede from this socialist cesspool and establish his own Republic of Texas.

And now they find out this bastion of rugged individualism and self-reliance has spent $600,000 — taxpayer dollars! — on his own personal residence near the capital. Taxpayers have been spending $10,000 a month to pay the rent on Governor Perry’s 5-bedroom 3-dining room mansion. While he’s basking in this taxpayer largesse, Perry is asking all state agencies to cut their own budgets by five percent; and a lot of state employees are facing reduced hours.

Ah yes, We The People.

Now is it just me, or is Las Vegas a little unclear on the concept? Las Vegas is undergoing a huge homebuilding spree. There’s either a resurgence in the housing market, or they’re just pretending there’s one.

In any case, thousands of new homes are being frantically built. This is all fine and good, except for odd little detail: As a result of the housing meltdown, Las Vegas already has ten thousand brand new houses that were never sold. They’re sitting empty. And there are another five thousand almost-new houses that were foreclosed after just a few months. They too are just sitting there empty, waiting to be used for — well, something.

And meanwhile developers are digging and paving and building as fast as they can to keep up with this new housing boom — if there even is one — while fifteen thousand already-built houses are sitting there unoccupied; unused.

What’s wrong with this picture?