Who Hijacked Our Country

Friday, June 11, 2010

Congratulations Iran — You’re Just Like Us

Why do American conservatives hate Iran? Are they unaware of the similarities between us? Or maybe they’re seeing their own reflection and hating what they see.

Both countries are full of bone-stupid religious fanatics who want to bring their countries back to the twelfth century. Aha — jealousy. After all, the Koran-thumpers have achieved this more successfully than the Bible-thumpers. (So far…)

And now for our quiz:

Person A wants America to get out of the United Nations.

Person B says a recent United Nations resolution is “a worthless piece of paper.”

Can you tell which is which?

American rightwads are so worked up and paranoid about one of the above-mentioned mystery people, they want to invade his country. Well, not they themselves, of course; they want somebody else to actually do the invading. You know conservatives — they love war, as long as they don’t have to do the “warring” themselves.

[Not to be confused with “You know spies; a bunch of bitchy little girls.” (Name that quote.)]

Anyway, the other mystery person, instead of generating fury and hatred on the Right — conservatives want to put this person in the U.S. Senate.

Can you say schizophrenia?

And speaking of conservatives and schizophrenia — maybe their affliction has a different technical term; who knows — what is it with rightwingers and minorities? They love ‘em; they hate ‘em. Can’t live with ‘em; can’t live without ‘em. Those funny-talking darkies come in handy once in awhile, when you need a token minority to “prove” you aren’t a racist.

But there’s a certain degree of “minority-ness” that’s acceptable, and that’s as far as it goes. One teensy micro-iota beyond that point, and it’s (insert ethnic slur here)!!!!!! I have no idea where they draw that line, but they sure know. Right down to the minutest detail. They have it down to an exact science. For instance:

Promising up-and-coming politician whose parents came over from India.

versus:

Raghead.

How do they know???

16 Comments:

Blogger Lew Scannon said...

The difference between Promising up-and-coming politician whose parents came over from India versus Raghead are many. Geographical, for one. South Carolina, between the Miss Teen USA contestant, Mark Ensign on the Appalachia Trail and now this clown, is looking like the dumbed down inbred capitol of the US. Another reason is Bobby Jindal isn't trying to take a job away from a white man. And three, Bobby Jindal hasn't appeared to be as promiscuous as Nikki Haley.

June 11, 2010 at 8:13 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

American conservatives always need a bogeyman, the better to convince people to elect them because only they fully understand the threat. Only they know what to do and have the resolve to keep their campaign donors in the defense industries in super lucrative contracts. Only they know how to make chickenhawks and bullies achieve a state of extended tumescence by talking tough, even carpet bombing and invading another country from time to time, in part to assert their collective manhood.

Plus, without a good bogeyman, their pols have a harder time relying on the tried and true "You better be afraid, people, very, very afraid!"

Stalin, Bulganin, Mao and Ho Chi Min were made to order. Khadafy was a real comer until he wimped out (at least he did it on W's watch). Despite his being a disgusting jerk, Kim Jung Il doesn't seem to click with the public as an imminent menace. China won't work because, hell, if they were to use China for their bogeyman, the Walton Family would start backing New Democrat types instead of Republicans and Wall Street would disown them. Can't have that.

So, Iran is what's left. In point of fact, to anyone who bothers with those, the Iranians have plenty of reason to neither like nor trust the U.S. And despite all the propaganda from the right, Iran has been very circumspect about getting into it with other countries, Israel included. But none of that matters. The mullahs are despots and hostile toward the U.S., so Iran serves the purpose.

June 12, 2010 at 12:18 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

I can't recall the exact text offhand, but there's a billboard near downtown that I pass when going home via the highway with Mahmoud's smiling mug and some barrels of oil tucked away in the corner. He's MAKING A KILLING.

Very scary. Where's my Chuck Norris teddy bear?

June 12, 2010 at 5:33 AM  
Blogger Tim said...

The President of Iran(Imadinnajacket)
or whatever his name is, could be mistaken for Mitch McConnell or any number of dirt bags.
There's only one sure way to stop wars in this country, re-install the draft. Yeah with no deferments for the well off.
Maybe we could just set up wind mills for conservatives to fight.

June 12, 2010 at 6:44 AM  
Blogger T. Paine said...

The fact that you think there are similarities between Iran and America just proves how far off the mark you are, Tom.

If would seem that you cannot practice any religion but Shia Islam without repercussions in Iran; America still provides you an opportunity to worship any God or not as you choose.

Further, Iran has by proxies attached Israel repeatedly and their revolutionary guard has proven to be complicit in the killing of US troops in Iraq.

Yeah, they are not really a bogeyman. Not!

That is a pretty foolish comparison and any deeper dive into the facts prove this to be a false one. I expected better of you, Mr. Harper.

Further, it would seem the progressives and its leadership need search no further than conservatives in our own country to use for their bogeymen.

"If the GOP doesn't support passing of TARP, the economy will collapse." And of course, lets not forget the demagoguery regarding the absolute need for "health care reform" because people were dying due to the current system.

No, I'll take my bogeymen to be the one that has declared to wipe Israel from the map, hates the US, and is actively trying to obtain nuclear weapons. This one at least has some basis in fact, sir.

June 12, 2010 at 8:46 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Lew: South Carolina seems determined to become the new Mississippi. Maybe those two states will battle it out over the title of Inbred Capitol of the U.S.

SW: Yup, maintaining a bogeyman in the public consciousness and keeping the "defense" industry lucrative -- that's their assignment. And what better bogeyman than Eastasia, er, Oceana, I mean, uh, Iran.

Iran has a 60-year history of being fucked over by the West (mostly England and the U.S.) so they have a lot of valid reasons for their resentment. And I agree that the threat from them is greatly exaggerated.

Randal: I hid your Chuck Norris teddy bear. BWAAAHAAHAAHAAHAA.

Tim: You're right, those dirtbags are pretty much interchangeable. Fortunately the Mitch McConnells can't be as ruthless as they'd like to be, because of our form of government. But the sickfuck mentality is the same.

TP: You get an A+ on your talking points recital.

I've said in this post and in previous posts that the similarities between Iran and the U.S. are based on the same mentality, not the external reality. Our form of government prevents our own Bible fanatics from enforcing the Old Testament decrees they'd like to enforce. And a lot of your fellow conservatives are very resentful of this fact. You've gotta admit, the James Dobsons and Pat Robertsons of this country are green with envy when they hear about Iran's Revolutionary Guards rounding up citizens for violating some section of the Koran.

See S.W. Anderson's comment, plus earlier posts I've done, plus millions of Internet links, for some facts (not hysteria) about Iran's "threat" level.

The second half of your comment is off topic.

June 12, 2010 at 9:55 AM  
Anonymous Thomas said...

That's Sam (Bruce Campbell) from "Burn Notice."

What's particularly funny is that the main character on that show is named "Michael Westen" and he's played by Jeff Donovan. There is also an actor named "Michael Weston" who appeared on the show this past season.

June 12, 2010 at 10:53 AM  
Blogger TomCat said...

Tom, the only difference between the US and Iran is that McConJob and Mooseolini lost the last election here. If the had won, there would be no appreciable differance, except that we would be at war with them.

June 12, 2010 at 1:07 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

I think if we came up with the list of countries that the right does not want to get into this would be a much shorter list. I am about sick of them beating the war drums while we are going down the toilet becoming like those third world nations we talk about. Oh make no mistake, those of you here from the right, we are no longer the best at everything. It will take us a long time to get back to it after the last 30 yrs or so.

T.P as far as worshipping any God the person chooses, that is a joke. You have the talibangelicals all up in arms because we are not doing (insert whatever here) the way they want it to be done. You have people like Dobson and Robertson telling us all this is and has always been a Christian nation. Um, no, no it hasn't and it should never be. We have crazies in congress that want to use the bible in place of the Constitution. Oh I can see how that would work. No not really.

For the record, Norris is too powerful for teddies, he has grizzlies instead.

June 12, 2010 at 4:17 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Hey! It's the T Paine disinformation campaign! Did you know that right now, there are Jewish people who live in Iran who are treated no different than anybody else and have no desire to move away? Of course not!
Further more, Iran has not invaded any country in over two hundred years, and while they do fund Hiz-Bollah, it's to contain Israel within their borders and protect the people of southern Lebanon from another invasion like the one of a few years ago where Israel dropped cluster bombs all over the place after completely destroying Lebanese infrastructure.

And furthermore and finally the biggest piece of shit lie you have spewed in your comments here today, Ahmadinejad never threatened to "wipe Israel off the map", an idiom that doesn't even exist in Farsi, and a deliberate mistranslation used by reactionary neo-cons in the propaganda campaign to invade another country. What he said is "The Zionist occupation of Q'ods (Jerusalem) must disappear from the pages of memory", never stating that he, nor anybody within his country should do anything about it. Also, there has been no evidence that Iran is doing anything but building a nuclear power plant, and doesn't even have enough centrifuges to enrich uranium up to weapons grade.
Like Tom said, keep reciting your talking points, Goebbels would be proud.

June 12, 2010 at 6:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Assimilation can have a two sided edge:
How far could have Piyush Jindal have gone in this country, especially as a Republican - if he didn't anglicize his name to Bobby?

Our President didn't Anglicize and how many conservative commentators show their ignorance and incite fear by emphasizing his middle name Hussein (A popular Muslim name) when they talk about him?

Erik

June 12, 2010 at 7:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Getting us out of the UN, dumping the department of Education?

Really old standard Conservative Issues.

Erik

June 12, 2010 at 7:32 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Thomas: Yup, Burn Notice, you got it. I'd forgotten about that, when there was an episode starring an actor named Michael Weston.

I've seen that same thing a few times. There's Matt Dillon -- the actor and the sheriff in Gunsmoke. Ed Norton -- actor; one of the characters in The Honeymooners. Josh Randall -- actor (not that well known, he was in "Ed") and the bounty hunter in Wanted: Dead or Alive (played by Steve McQueen).

TomCat: You're right on both counts. If those 2 dickwads had gotten elected we'd be just like Iran, and we'd be at war with them.

Jess: LOL. We could save time by just asking the wingtards which countries they DON'T want to invade.

Lew: Interesting info about the translation "misunderstanding." I've heard that before, that the Iranian government never said that but it gets deliberately mis-translated and "misunderstood" just to get the neocons all riled up and champing at the bit.

June 12, 2010 at 7:36 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: I had no idea Bobby Jindal's first name was actually Piyush. He wouldn't be a governor, or even a city clerk, with a first name like that. Yeah, they've been fuming about the U.N. for decades now. And trying to dump several of those cabinet positions. They'd probably like to triple the Pentagon and get rid of everything else.

June 12, 2010 at 7:41 PM  
Blogger T. Paine said...

Mr. Harper, I do not have to admit that, "the James Dobsons and Pat Robertsons of this country are green with envy when they hear about Iran's Revolutionary Guards rounding up citizens for violating some section of the Koran" because it just ain't so with their wishes for America.

While Robertson is over the top and foolish often times, I still do not think he or Dobson want a theocracy as you describe. THIS is simply LEFTWING talking points and demagoguery, sir.

Jess, I am not going to attach my myriads of quotes and sources AGAIN to prove that your assertion is inaccurate, ma'am, no matter what Lord Obama says. This is indeed a nation founded under Christianity and that is our heritage. You can choose not to acknowledge this FACT, but it does not make it any less of a fact, ma'am.

Scannon, yeah, I have heard of Iranian Jews living in "peace" in Iran. They are intrepid people for sure and about as common as an objective journalist is on the MS-NBC staff.

So does CAIR send you these talking points, Scannon? "Iran has not invaded any country in over two hundred years, and while they do fund Hiz-Bollah, it's to contain Israel within their borders and protect the people of southern Lebanon from another invasion like the one of a few years ago where Israel dropped cluster bombs all over the place after completely destroying Lebanese infrastructure."

Iran has by resources and proxies been DIRECTLY responsible for much of the terror and control of the Middle East, especially concerning Israel. Iran has the Damascus government of Syria absolutely responding to their demands.

As for your ridiculous quotation, Israel was being attacked via Iranian-sponsored terrorists from Lebanon (Hezbollah)that precipitated that war. Nice try at revisionist history though.

Next, Ahmadinejad and Iran have said constantly since the overthrow of the Shah that their goal is the destruction of the "little Satan" of Israel and of course the "big Satan" of America. See the following links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hLDjGdJC0Q&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_KfstCcywo&feature=related

Lastly, Scannon, why does a nation that is practically floating on a sea of oil need nuclear power for their energy? You surely cannot be that naive to believe that Iran's program there is simply for power and not weapons development.

If so, then there is no sense in even debating with you, because you are hopelessly blind to the reality of the facts before you, sir.

June 13, 2010 at 8:01 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

TP: It's pointless to argue about whether or not James Dobson and Pat Robertson (and the thousands of rightwing tiny-minded Bible-wads just like them) are hateful, or whether they're as hateful as their Muslim counterparts. I think they are; you think they aren't.

I looked at those 2 YouTube links; I don't know what they're supposed to prove. I don't know much Farsi (I should have learned more of their language since I was there so long) so I'll just have to take the word of whoever was doing the reporting and translating. Riiight.

Maybe I could find a YouTube of a Chinese person giving a speech and everybody cheering, and say "Oh my God, he's saying they're going to destroy America with cheap exports and poisoned pet food!"

As far as why Iran would need nuclear energy while they're "floating in a sea of oil" -- Maybe Iranians are smart enough (unlike most Americans) to know that someday, whether it's tomorrow or 90 years from now, the oil will run out and they'll need other energy sources.

June 13, 2010 at 2:07 PM  

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