Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Jan Brewer: “___________________________”

In the early ‘70s there was a book titled “The Wit and Wisdom of Spiro Agnew.” Every page was blank.

For the updated version, check out the first YouTube video at this link. It’s about a minute long. It sounds more like a Cheech and Chong skit. While Jan Brewer is bragging about her accomplishments, she makes several long excruciating pauses. I was half expecting to hear Tommy Chong’s voice saying “uhh, wow man, I forgot where I was, uhh…”

Jeez, if you can’t remember your talking points, just write them on your hand. Other people have already done it.

In the other video, she refuses to confirm or deny her earlier statements that illegal immigrants are beheading people out in the desert. Uh oh! But at least they aren’t homosexual immigrants with pre-existing conditions.

In that same video, she’s debating with her opponent for governor. He’s explaining to her that if tourists are staying away from Arizona, it’s because of the scary rumors she’s spreading, and not because of the boycott.

Whatever she was smoking right before her speech — I want some of that!

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Anonymous Tim said...

Oh Man I saw that, funnier than hell.
No she says she won't participate in anymore debates. But Jan, the headless horseman called and he wants you to come out on Halloween with him.
With a face like that the kids will piss their pants.

September 2, 2010 at 6:03 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Don't these people realize that when they make crazy unfounded declarations, they stay out there forever?

September 2, 2010 at 6:13 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

In a better world, Jan Brewer and Mark Sanford would hook up and disappear together along the Appalachian Trail. The whole being greater than the sum of its parts, together they might approximate the mentality of one fully functioning person.

Brewer is obviously following Sharron Angle's lead on press relations. How dingie is that?

September 2, 2010 at 11:10 PM  
Blogger Beekeepers Apprentice said...

I overheard a guy in Starbucks one morning recently telling the person he was with that as a travel agent, he couldn't recommend his clients go to Arizona. He said it's too dangerous, between guns and the crazy immigration laws they've passed, he's afraid for the lives of his clientele. That's why tourists aren't going to Arizona.

I don't know why anyone would want to go there anyway - it's too damned hot!

September 3, 2010 at 4:18 AM  
Blogger jadedj said...

NO man...you smoke that dope and it will turn you into a shriveled up old hate spewing hag..."double, double, toil and trouble", methinks.

September 3, 2010 at 5:55 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Dave's not here, man.

September 3, 2010 at 6:34 AM  
Blogger Demeur said...

She's been taking lessons from sister Sarah.

Dave are you in there? You sure Dave's not there?

September 3, 2010 at 9:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Earache my eye!


September 3, 2010 at 2:39 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Tim: If she won't participate in any more debates, voters should vote for her opponent. But then we're talking about Arizona.

Lew: Politicians never learn. One gaffe and it's on the Internet forever.

SW: She's definitely following the Sharron Angle/Sarah Palin model -- get all your talking points out there and then don't answer any questions from the press.

Bee: But at least it's a dry heat :)

jadedj: They could re-title her video "Reefer Madness 2.0." "Kids, don't take drugs or you'll end up like this stammering sputtering idiot."

Randal: No, man, I'M Dave. Lemme in, man, I think the cops saw me.

Demeur: Yup, sister Sarah and her other sister Sharron.

Erik: LOL, I forgot about that one.

September 3, 2010 at 5:20 PM  
Blogger Dave Dubya said...

Brewer is an insult to all self-respecting drug users. She'll sputter even more nonsense if you ask her about her buddies cashing in on her new law at Corrections Corpration Of America.

Prison Industrial Complex vermin.

September 3, 2010 at 7:47 PM  
Anonymous Carlos said...

Pretty fucking funny. She's a real dim bulb, that's for sure.

I'd like to know who started the idea that stupid people are okay to have in charge of things.

September 4, 2010 at 4:15 AM  
Blogger TomCat said...

But I think Cheech and Chang's problem would have been fatal for Brewer. Upon contact with her lips, THC would transform into strychnine.

September 4, 2010 at 10:58 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Dave: I wish somebody would ask her publicly about her lucrative private prison contracts. Back when there was a real news media, she would've been back into a corner and made to squirm in front of millions of viewers, over an issue like that. Now it's just a "small" story that gets buried in a few little-read leftwing news sites.

Carlos: Good question. I guess there's a whole bunch of people even dumber than Jan Brewer, and they look up to her. Like they say, everything is relative.

TC: LOL. Somebody should hold her down and force her to smoke some weed.

September 4, 2010 at 4:33 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

What blew me away about this was the nanny nanny boo boo thing she did with unions. Goddard, who is a great candidate by the way, asked her to fess up about all the headless people and she automatically goes into attacking unions and how he should denounce them. WTF was that all about? This woman makes Sharon Angle look smart and that is hard to do.

September 5, 2010 at 3:28 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

Problem is, Jan Brewer will probably win in November. I have been thinking as long as she is not a liberal Democrat, the conservative voters on Arizona will probably forgive her for just about anything. Although if the Dems have any brains, they will try to get as much mileage out of this as possible.

Ben Quayle won in Arizona, and he looks about as bright as his dad, but sleazy... why wouldn't Brewer too?


The GOP spinmasters have been so hard at work at "staying on message" that I think even Angle has a good shot at winning in Nevada.

September 6, 2010 at 2:45 AM  
Blogger TomCat said...

Great idea!! ;-)

September 6, 2010 at 9:59 AM  

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