Who Hijacked Our Country

Friday, December 10, 2010

For Sale: Dick Cheney. Only $500,000,000. Going Once, Going Twice…

I realize there are a lot more important things going on than this, but this is just too absurd. As you probably know already, the Nigerian government has charged Dick Cheney in a huge bribery case, and is trying to have him arrested via Interpol. If convicted, he faces up to three years in prison. In Nigeria.

And now, Halliburton is offering Nigeria a $500,000,000 settlement to keep Cheney out of jail. Is he worth it?

As the article points out, how do Halliburton employees and stockholders feel about “donating” five hundred million dollars just to keep their slippery ex-CEO out of prison?

If you think he’s worth it, buy Halliburton stock. Buy a whole lot of it. NOW.

Maybe some patriotic Americans will start a Dick Cheney Fund. Please donate. You wouldn’t want our sleazy ex-vice president to go to jail in one of those poor, backward countries, would you? Having terrible unspeakable things done to him by his icky third world inmates?

[ahem] Uh, you wouldn’t, now, would you???


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9 Comments:

Blogger Mauigirl said...

Unbelievable. He must have a lot of dirt on Halliburton if they're willing to ransom him out of Nigerian prison!

December 10, 2010 at 4:36 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Hell some patriotic Americans are already paying for this. We give them our tax money, so they can charge servicemembers 45 bucks for a case of soda that can be purchased at Costco for 6. They are using ill gotten gains to electrocute soldiers and don't have to pay for it. So see, we are already paying his bail fee, oops bribe,oops whatever the hell it is we just don't get any benefit out from it.

December 10, 2010 at 7:55 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Like Mauigirl said. Plus, it's swell to see Cheney costing Halliburton big bucks. You can be sure he was heavily responsible for all those fat no-bid contracts that siphoned borrowed billions from the Treasury to Halliburton via the crackpot crusade in Iraq.

That said, if Halliburton does buy off Nigeria, I'd be amazed if it turns out to actually be for that much.

December 11, 2010 at 12:18 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Half a billion? Shit, they'll make that up in the first month of the next invasion.

December 11, 2010 at 7:55 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Mauigirl: Excellent point. Halliburton undoubtedly has a huge secret that's worth more than half a billion dollars.

Jess: 45 bucks for a case of soda??? I'm there! When can I enlist? Where do I sign? If I get electrocuted in the shower, I promise not to whimper.

SW: I'm sure Halliburton will bargain it down to a much smaller amount. Does Nigeria have any idea who they're messing with??? You know, American Exceptionalism, and all that.

Randal: Ah yea, the next invasion. And we all know which primitive country that'll be. [wink]

December 12, 2010 at 12:43 AM  
Blogger Beekeepers Apprentice said...

What Maui said...

and Halliburton just confessed guilt, if they are willing to do this.

December 12, 2010 at 4:20 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Bee: Yup, that's a confession if there ever was one.

December 13, 2010 at 4:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

500 million?

A days pay from the no bid Iraqi war contract!

Erik

December 14, 2010 at 11:09 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: LOL. Good point.

December 14, 2010 at 4:22 PM  

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