FINALLY — An Explanation for Mass Bird Deaths

Forget all those newfangled scientific theories. Thousands of birds and other animals have died because: their deaths were God’s punishment for the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

This comes from Evangelist Cindy Jacobs. The Lord has punished animals all over the world because of America’s Homosexual Agenda. In Cindy Jacobs’ own words:

“According to biblical principles, marriage is between a man and a woman, so we have to say 'what happens when a nation makes a decision that’s against God's principles?' Well, often what happens is that nature itself will begin to talk to us — for instance, violent storms, flooding.”

Huh? But I thought violent storms were caused when rival gods were fighting in the sky.

(The linked article has a YouTube video of Cindy Jacobs’ words of wisdom.)

Last November, Cindy Jacobs told a Latino audience that if they voted for candidates who oppose gay marriage, God would reward them with immigration reform.

OK, my head hurts. That’s all for today.