Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Mitt Romney: “The Soviet Union Will Bury Us!!!”

President Obama is willing to just lie down and play dead while Soviet tanks come rolling down Main Street.  Meanwhile, Mitt Romney is frantically — and probably in vain — trying to save us.

After all, Nikita Khrushchev came right out and said our grandchildren will live under Communism.  He said “we will bury you.”  Isn’t that a dire enough warning?  Is our pacifist Kenyan president going to do ANYTHING???

Our potential allies in Eastern Europe could also use some help from the Leader of the Free World.  Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, East Germany — they’re still being crushed behind the Iron Curtain while Obama does nothing.

While Romney is fixated on the Soviet Union and the Eastern Bloc, he’s not quite as paranoid about other potential enemies.  When asked about Osama bin Laden, Romney replied  “Who???”

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Anonymous Jess said...

Um, wait...what. Isn't the Soviet Union no more as of like 20 yrs ago or some really big number like that? These guys make me want to pierce my ears with sharp pointy objects, so I don't have to listen anymore. Snow Snooki lives near Russia, can't we put her in an air cannon or something like that and launch her in a bid to win over them pesky Russkies?

April 26, 2012 at 4:57 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

Romney is actually kind of like a Brezhnev for America-as in, the guy who will probably finish us off with corruption and stagnation. So maybe Willard making Soviet analogies is some kind of Freudian thing on his part.

April 26, 2012 at 7:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

please tell us you're joking, and that you know the Soviet Union is long gone, and this isn't what the stupidest posts in the history of the Internets

April 26, 2012 at 11:34 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: An excellent idea. Drop Sarah Palin on Russia; they'd be sorry they ever messed with us.

JR: This could easily be some sort of Freudian projection on Romney's part.

Anonymous: If you click on the linked article, you'll see that Romney is still talking about the Soviet Union and Czechoslovakia, neither of which exist any more.

April 27, 2012 at 1:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nikita Khrushchev actually said "We will Rock You!" No sorry that was Queen.


April 27, 2012 at 1:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obviously Romney thinks Boris, Natasha, and Fearless Leader are still a threat.


April 27, 2012 at 1:54 AM  
Blogger jadedj said...

What the hell is wrong with you people. Mitt is only trying to set the stage for our return to 1958. Jeez.

April 27, 2012 at 5:18 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: Stolichnaya has Romney scared out of his mind right now. He doesn't know who or what it is, but it's a threat to everything America stands for.

jadedj: 1958, that's much too recent. 1858 is more like it. Or even just 58.

April 27, 2012 at 12:01 PM  
Blogger Demeur said...

I'm surprised he didn't bring up the Japs because you never know they just might want to try another sneak attack on Pearl Harbor. Sheeesh!

April 27, 2012 at 12:07 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Demeur: Not only that, but -- the British are coming!

April 27, 2012 at 1:28 PM  

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