Who Hijacked Our Country

Friday, June 15, 2012

The Republican Guide to Hispanic and Asian Stereotypes

Unfortunately, these swarthy creatures vote.  We’re working frantically to fix that problem, but in the meantime, here is our how-to guide.  If you want to pander to these icky minorities and con them into voting Republican, this is what you need to know:

Hispanics are the model minority.  They’re brilliant at math — each and every one of them — but they can’t drive.  And don’t be fooled by their mild-mannered politeness; they all have a black belt in one of those martial arts.

Asians:  well, what can you say?  All they want to do is get bombed on tequila and then lie around all day with that stupid sombrero covering their faces.  They all have quick fiery tempers — must be from eating all those red hot burritos — and each and every one of them carries a switchblade.

OK, if you’re a conservative politician and you’re trying to pander to these lowly furriners, these guidelines will help you to —



Blogger Lisa said...

the only one pandering here is Obama.
I guess he had no use for Hispanics until this election year.
So hopefully their parents will now be required to pay federal incometaxes but I doubt that because that would equate to voter suppression.

June 15, 2012 at 1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My Mother never had a birth certificate, it was recorded on a family bible. When she moved to California State Law allowed her to use it to get a drivers license.
I shutter to think if it was in one of those other Republican Run States today.


June 15, 2012 at 2:37 PM  
Blogger S.W. Anderson said...

Hey, húmedo espaldas amigos, llovizna hacia abajo es bueno para usted.

Bet that message will resonate like an all-expenses paid weekend in Sendemback, Arizona. :)

June 16, 2012 at 1:33 AM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

Lisa, que son realmente un tronco increíblemente estúpido. No estoy seguro de lo estúpido que el hombre debe ser quien se quedaría con menos de 100 kilómetros de ti, pero supongo que el daño orgánico cerebral es un hecho.

June 16, 2012 at 3:00 AM  
Blogger Demeur said...

Muy bueno Jolly ¿No crees que ella se molestó en traducir?

June 16, 2012 at 11:33 AM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Oooh, I am here to tell you that not all Asians are good at math from personal experience :) I was fine till they started adding letters to math problems.

I think these guys have the pasty white, republican, Jesus freak sewn up so it should really work out for them. Once again, Lisa trying to revise history given that PO was quite successful getting his message out to Hispanics like me and friends of mine that are similarly hued.

Didn't Sharron Angle pull something like this when she was running against Harry Reid. Went to a school full of them Messicans and said something like you all look Asian like me. Why yes, yes she did here is the story.

June 16, 2012 at 1:49 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Nice one Jolly. But given her English, she sure as shit isn't going to understand Spanish. It's all furrin and shit.

June 16, 2012 at 1:54 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

ooops, meant to say earlier, also have a Happy Father's day tomorrow all you dads here.

June 16, 2012 at 2:44 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

Probablemente no lo suficientemente inteligente, Demeur. But I have had an opportunity to practice a Spanish I haven't used in years, so to her I say, gracias, mujer ignorante.

June 16, 2012 at 5:23 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: I've been reading about a lot of cases just like that. A lot of people in that situation, who have been voting for decades, might not be able to vote this November.

SW: LOL, good old Sendemback; Arizona's most lily-white community.

JR: Si, organic brain damage is very sad indeed.

Demeur: No, ella no translato.

Jess: I remember Sharron Angle's comment about Meskins looking like Asians. I hope Romney's election campaign goes the same way hers did.

June 16, 2012 at 8:57 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

June 17, 2012 at 7:52 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

June 17, 2012 at 7:59 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Gracias por otro lame intento JR a ley superior,pero puedo hablar espanol con fluidez porque contrariamente a lo que usted me crecio alrededor de los hispanos . Yo tambien recibi el grado mas alto de lo que nadie en mi Espanol Regent'S en la Escuela Secundaria y siempre entran en ningun caso inferior a terceros en spelling bee concursos. Tambien puedo hablar de pabellones con fluidez.
Espanol es la lengua mas simple para aprender.

Maintenant si vous voulez vraiment impressionner vous devriez avoir ecrit quelque chose en francais

June 17, 2012 at 8:01 PM  

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