Who Hijacked Our Country

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Introducing Mitt Romney 2.0: The Human

The GOP’s current task is to give Mitt Romney an image makeover.  Good luck with that.  Anyone can flipflop on the issues and express every opinion that’s ever been expressed.

Changing your persona — not quite so easy.  Ask Al Gore.

Republicans can spend billions of dollars on attack ads, but I don’t think there’s enough money in the world to transform Mitt Romney from R2D2 into a humanoid specimen.  Let’s see if they can actually turn Mitt Romney into an affable likeable Regular Joe with whom voters would like to go out and sip cognac and talk about derivatives and deferred-interest debt.

Even if Romney reads his conversational spontaneous-sounding script from a Teleprompter, he’ll need to wear earphones so his handlers can prompt him on his tone of voice, body language, when to act like he means it, etc.

“As I was saying in the car elevator on the way to the yacht club [MITT!  Pause!  Smile!  Make eye contact!], it just seems, I mean, gosh, President Obama has had almost four years to [MITT!  Pound the podium for emphasis.  Glare!  Pretend you feel something]…”

We’ll see.  I don’t think they can pull it off.

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Anonymous Jess said...

I've been watching the clown parade and none of them are able to make him likable. Maybe when the Robme's are out doing the shopping at Costco, you know... like they do, *eye roll* they can find a new personality in one of the aisles.

August 28, 2012 at 7:30 PM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Is there an election coming up or something?

August 29, 2012 at 7:40 AM  
Blogger BadTux said...

Mitt Romney is so stiff that he makes boards jealous.

Mitt Romney is so stiff that if he were a drink, one sip would make you drunk.

Mitt Romney is so stiff that John Holmes once mistook Mitt for his own erect, err, instrument.

The jokes just write themselves, folks. Good luck on that one, Mitt :).

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

August 29, 2012 at 2:15 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: Romney would go to Costco and ask where the caviar and truffles are and how much a Rolls Royce tuneup will cost.

Randal: Yes, if by "election" you mean a shadowy mastermind group deciding whether to appoint Tweedledee or Tweedledum to the ceremonial position of "president of the United States."

BadTux: LOL. All true.

August 29, 2012 at 2:55 PM  

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