Who Hijacked Our Country

Saturday, November 17, 2012

GOP’s Stunning New Realization: Women, Minorities and Workers are People Too

Republican leaders have been re-evaluating their campaign, soul-searching and trying to reboot their party’s image.  And in the process, they’ve reached some incredible new insights.

Republican Congressman Charles Bass — who was defeated on November 6th — stunned the audience with:

“Republicans have to start understanding that small business and entrepreneurs are important, but the people who work for them are also important.  We've got to be compassionate conservatives.”

Huh???  Workers, important?!?  But, I mean, eww, they’re dirty, they work with their hands, they don’t belong to country clubs and they don’t make campaign contributions.  And they’re part of that icky 47% that just mooches and whines for more handouts.  They’re takers!

Ron Kaufman, one of Mitt Romney’s campaign advisors, said:

“We need to make sure that we're not perceived as intolerant.  The bottom line is we were perceived to be intolerant on some issues. And tone-deaf on others.”

What???  No!!!  You mean we have to tolerate those godless uppity — oh, you’re just saying, OK, I get it now.  “Not perceived as intolerant” — Gotcha.  Read you loud and clear.  [wink]  It’s OK to BE intolerant and tone deaf, as long as the voters don’t pick up on it.  Whew!  Had me worried for a minute there.

Other GOP leaders pointed out that Republicans need to change the WAY they communicate their message.  Obama’s campaign was very good at talking directly to voters.  The Republicans’ top-down method of communicating — TV ads, direct mail — is less effective.  You’re talking at people instead of to them.

Yuck, we have to talk to them?  We don’t have to shake hands with them, do we???  I mean, some of them have dark skin, or their hands might be dirty from working at one of those messy labor jobs, or they might be homosexuals and we could catch… [shudder]

It’ll be interesting to see the GOP’s new outreach campaign toward Blacks, Hispanics and Asians.  At second thought, don’t go there.

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Blogger MRMacrum said...

I especially liked Barbour's comment about his party need to have a party wide proctology exam.

I heard Rush even thinks its over on the taxing the top tier incomes.

They really set themselves up for a serious letdown.

November 17, 2012 at 4:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Compassionate Conservative:

Means listening and nodding to what you are saying, putting their arm around your shoulder and then saying "Fuck You!"


November 17, 2012 at 11:44 PM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

I don't know who they're talking about. The beings that empty the garbage cans at work?

November 18, 2012 at 2:40 AM  
Blogger jadedj said...

A shit sandwich by any other name is still a shit sandwich. In the case of the Republican Party, a shit hors d'oeuvres by any other nom is still a shit hors d'oeuvres.

November 18, 2012 at 6:39 AM  
Blogger Demeur said...

So much fun watching the civil war in the republican party. As I've pointed out in a blog post or two who haven't they insulted other than their 1% base and the idiots who'd go along with it?

Is this some kind of punk band idea? We'll hate you till you love us.

November 18, 2012 at 10:31 AM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Hey they manage to hate all of me at the same time. As many of you regulars here know, I am of Puerto Rican, south east Asian mixed with a little black to swirl it all up in the whiteness from the Germanic heritage. Oh and I am a woman also too you betcha. They will never get my vote, even if they stood in the middle of the freeway here at rush hour doing abortion when I demand them.

November 18, 2012 at 11:13 AM  
Blogger jim marquis said...

It will be really interesting to see what happens during the 2014 elections.

November 18, 2012 at 5:09 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

MRM: A proctology exam would be a start. It would have to be a mighty deep one.

Erik: That slogan worked for Dumbya, but now it's past its shelf life.

Randal: Beings? Nah, they're just some sort of subhuman something or other.

jadedj: LOL. A brand new shiny sales pitch, same old shit sandwich.

Demeur: The GOP was probably counting on the Stockholm Syndrome again, only it didn't work quite as well this time.

Jess: I'd love to see them performing an abortion in the middle of the freeway at rush hour, but I still wouldn't vote for them.

Jim: I hope they get trounced in 2014, no matter how many phony "Big Tent" soundbites they spew out.

November 19, 2012 at 1:24 PM  

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