Glenn Beck Shrugged

Glenn Beck is planning to create a real life utopia patterned after the one Ayn Rand wrote about in Atlas Shrugged.  As you know, the heroes of Atlas Shrugged were devout Christians.  The top priorities of Hank Reardon, John Galt, and Dagney Taggart were banning abortion, stopping the Homosexual Agenda and bringing God back into our daily — oh wait, that’s Paul Ryan’s version.

Anyway, Glenn Beck’s community of like-minded individuals will be named Independence, USA.  The main entrance to Independence will be through Ellis Island, since that’s how most of our ancestors arrived here.

Independence will have a marketplace, but:

“There's not going to be a Gap here. There's no Ann Taylor. You want an Ann Taylor, go someplace else.”

In his promotion video, Glenn Beck says:

“Before you send your kids to college, you come to us. And you spend a week with us. We're gonna tell them exactly, we will show them the truth, we will tell them what they're going to try to do, and we will deprogram them every summer, if you care.”

Bring your own chalkboard.  And crying is mandatory.