Who Hijacked Our Country

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Glenn Beck Shrugged

Glenn Beck is planning to create a real life utopia patterned after the one Ayn Rand wrote about in Atlas Shrugged.  As you know, the heroes of Atlas Shrugged were devout Christians.  The top priorities of Hank Reardon, John Galt, and Dagney Taggart were banning abortion, stopping the Homosexual Agenda and bringing God back into our daily — oh wait, that’s Paul Ryan’s version.

Anyway, Glenn Beck’s community of like-minded individuals will be named Independence, USA.  The main entrance to Independence will be through Ellis Island, since that’s how most of our ancestors arrived here.

Independence will have a marketplace, but:

“There's not going to be a Gap here. There's no Ann Taylor. You want an Ann Taylor, go someplace else.”

In his promotion video, Glenn Beck says:

“Before you send your kids to college, you come to us. And you spend a week with us. We're gonna tell them exactly, we will show them the truth, we will tell them what they're going to try to do, and we will deprogram them every summer, if you care.”

Bring your own chalkboard.  And crying is mandatory.

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Blogger Grung_e_Gene said...

This is awesome.

I can't wait to see all those Oppressed White Atlases laying their own sewage lines, picking their own arugula, mining their own copper and smelting it to make the heating elements for their toasters, which they toast the bread made from the wheat they grew, harvested and ground themselves!!!

January 15, 2013 at 1:55 PM  
Blogger JUDI M. said...

But....but..isn't that Kenyan Muslim Left Wing Liberal Freeloading Bleeding Heart...SOCIALISM????

January 15, 2013 at 2:27 PM  
Blogger jim marquis said...

I think Beck's motto should be "Go Big and Go Crazy".

January 15, 2013 at 2:59 PM  
Blogger jadedj said...

Come on Tom...fess up...you got this from the Onion, right?

January 16, 2013 at 4:06 AM  
Blogger Demeur said...

Wonder if he won't get sued by Missouri for the name?

January 16, 2013 at 8:27 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Grung: But it sounded so romantic when Ayn Rand and Glenn Beck described it. Doing their own smelting, mining, electrical work? You took all the fun out of it :)

JUDI M: Nah, it's not socialism when conservatives do it.

Jim: That's what he should write on his chalkboard while he's sobbing.

jadedj: You're right, it sounds exactly like something the Onion would come up with.

Demeur: It would serve him right.

January 16, 2013 at 1:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, who will populate this place? Jews, Gays, blacks, women, Asians? Come on, if they want to have their utopia, they have to exclude the rest of us. As a Jewish, gay, older woman, I will feel jealous that I can't go into their community and help them with their grand plan to make it a perfect world. Oh yes, forgetting Ayn Rand, for a moment, didn't some guy in Germany try something similar about 70 years ago?

January 16, 2013 at 5:46 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Anonymous: Yes, that does ring a bell, some guy in Germany 70 years ago. And since Beck is a German name, maybe...

January 17, 2013 at 7:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why don't he just move to Texas and help them succeed.


January 20, 2013 at 3:10 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: Works for me.

January 20, 2013 at 4:17 PM  

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