Who Hijacked Our Country

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Republican Image Makeover, Part XVIII

No matter how much lipstick the GOP keeps putting on its pug-ugly face, it’s still too hideous for public viewing.  What’s the answer?  Why, more lipstick of course.  If Humpty Dumpty had another great fall, Republicans would yell “More Horses!  More Men!”

Behind the scenes, Republican legislators are more determined than ever to ban abortion, eliminate the safety net, break the backs of those commie labor unions and block everything President Obama tries to do.  But you’re not supposed to be looking at that.  Look over there at that big neon billboard, where Republican strategists are publicly asking “How can we reach out to more people?”  “Why do voters think we only care about rich people?” “How can we modernize our image?”

Nice try.  This newest installment of the Republican Image Makeover is brought to us by a spokesman for the American Enterprise Institute.  He says:

“Today, the top marginal tax rate is 40 percent, and inflation is 2 percent. Health-care spending and the debt have both risen by nearly 80 percent as a share of output. The average American is 37 years old.  Economics and demography require a reworking of the conservative policy portfolio. But center-right politicians in Washington keep offering same-old, same-old stale solutions.”

An article in the National Review said:

“They slavishly adhere to the economic program that Reagan developed to meet the challenges of the late 1970s and early 1980s, ignoring the fact that he largely overcame those challenges, and now we have new ones.”

These are all good points.  Try selling them to the teabaggers and corporate prostitutes who want to take “their” country back to 1850.

An editorial in Commentary Magazine proposed a five-step recovery program for the GOP:

“Focus on the economic concerns of working-and middle-class Americans;”
“Welcome rising immigrant groups;”
“Express and demonstrate a commitment to the common good;”
“Engage vital social issues forthrightly but in a manner that is aspirational rather than alienating;” and
“Harness their policy views to the findings of science.”

ROTFLMAO!!!  If they actually gave a flying fuck about the middle class, the common good, and science, they wouldn’t be Republicans.

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6 Comments:

Blogger jadedj said...

Whoa Nellie...are not them there "five-step recovery" thingamajigs already tenets of...gasp...progressive pinko/Commie Democrats?

February 21, 2013 at 4:31 AM  
Blogger Mr. Charleston said...

God, I wish they were offering Reaganism economics. As devastating as it was, it was better than what those knuckleheads are proposing today.

February 21, 2013 at 7:34 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

jadedj: If the GOP turns into a bunch of progressive pinko commies, Real Americans won't have anyone to vote for.

Mr. C: Absolutely. As much as I hated Reagan back in the day, he's a magnanimous people-loving statesman compared to today's gang of GOP Neanderthals.

February 21, 2013 at 2:08 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

They need to do something, because as it stands right now brown people like me are turning 18 at 67k a year I think it is and old white republican voters are dying at a pace of 100k. Math will not be with them long. Indiana latest GoOpers to try and get rid of abortion by making women go through 2 transvaginal ultrasounds before being allowed to do something with their own bodies. One before they get the abortion and one afterwards. It is rape by a new name when the state can invade your body like that. I swear if men had the ability to get pregnant, there would be none of this.

February 21, 2013 at 6:13 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: I think they're damned if they do and damned if they don't. If the GOP tries to join the 21st century, they'll alienate millions of not-dead-yet angry teatards. There are enough of these teajobs to lose elections for the GOP if they get alienated, but not enough of them to get Republicans elected.

They're in a bind. I like it.

February 21, 2013 at 6:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah Obama and the democrats really care about the middle class.Everything they propose trickle down to the wallets of the middle class.
Higer taxes ,higher gas prices,higher food prices and yes higher healthcare costs or less access to it

February 25, 2013 at 11:50 AM  

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