Today’s Incoming College Freshmen Have Never Known…

Beloit College has released its sixteenth annual Mindset List.  The Mindset List was created to help college professors communicate better with their freshman students by NOT making outdated references and using slang terms that everyone else stopped using decades ago.

For example, a previous Mindset List advised professors not to use Seinfeld buzzwords — “not that there’s anything wrong with it,” “shrinkage,” “sponge-worthy” — because their students won’t know WTF they’re talking about.

For the Class of 2017 — mostly born in 1995 — Jerry Garcia, Mickey Mantle and Dean Martin have always been dead.  These students were four or five years old during the Monica Lewinsky scandal, Bill Clinton’s impeachment, “this isn’t about sex; this is about lying to the American people,” etc.

For that matter, “Clinton” refers to Hillary.  There might even be a popular trivia question:  “True or False — Clinton’s husband was once president.”

Highlights from the Mindset List for the Class of 2017 include:

GM stands for Genetically Modified; not a car manufacturer.

Getting your own cell phone and Skype account is a more important rite of passage than getting your driver’s license or your first car.

When you’re going somewhere, just enter the address into your GPS.  Asking for directions?  What’s a map?

People who smoke have ALWAYS had to stand outside and stay away from non-smokers.

There used to be a nationwide speed limit of 55 miles per hour???  No way, Dude.

Their parents are sooo out-of-date, such Luddites, they still listen to music on the car CD player.

Etc.

Anyway, there are sixty items on the list.  Knock yourself out.  (OOPS — when was the last time anyone used THAT phrase?)