Do You REALLY Want to Know What Your Dog is Thinking?

A group of Scandinavian scientists, the Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery is working on a new invention they call “No More Woof.”  You put this device on your dog, and when he/she barks, the bark is translated into a short phrase — which was already pre-programmed into the device — and the phrase is then transmitted through a microphone.  A spokesperson for the group said:

“The brainwaves differ quite a lot from different races as well as individual dogs.  However it is possible to detect some common patterns and we have no doubt that in the future this technology will open up a vast new era of communication between dogs and humans, or animals in general and humans.  No More Woof is the result of combining the latest technologies in three different tech-areas — EEG (electroencephalography) sensoring, micro computing and special [brain-computer interface] software...Right now we are only scraping the surface of possibilities.  The first version will be quite rudimentary. But hey, the first computer was pretty crappy too.”

Regardless of how close this invention is — or whether it's even for real — do you really want to know what your dog is thinking?  Careful what you wish for.

I saw an article a long time ago saying that dogs outperform every other animal — except people — on a very specific type of intelligence:  Anticipating what a person is about to do, based on what this person has already done.  Your dog is extremely perceptive as to what you want and what you're about to do.

Combine this with the fact that dogs are pack animals.  And your dog perceives YOU as the leader of the pack.  Therefore, is your dog really as loving and devoted and loyal as you think?

Or is he/she more like a shrewd employee who knows exactly what the boss wants to hear?

This new invention could take all the mystery out of it.  When you come home from work and your dog's tail is wagging furiously and he's jumping all over you, maybe the little microphone thingy will transmit “Oh boy oh boy, you're home at last!”  Or maybe it'll say “I hate you.  Feed me.”