Dick Cheney: “I’m Never Ever EVER Gonna Die! MWAAAHAAHAAHAAA”

Will somebody somewhere please drive a stake through his pacemaker. For eight years we’ve had to listen to this asshole’s paranoid psychotic retchings, and he still won’t leave.

The most corrupt, inept, unpopular administration EVER has finally left office, and the accidental president’s chief puppetmaster wants to keep hanging around so he can shit and vomit all over the new administration. Shut The Fuck Up! Go! Retire! Die! Whatever, just fuckin’ LEAVE!

Dickwad told an interviewer that there’s “a high probability” of a terrorist attack in the next few years, and it’ll be all because of that wimpy bleeding heart commie in the White House.

“When we get people who are more concerned about reading the rights to an Al Qaeda terrorist than they are with protecting the United States against people who are absolutely committed to do anything they can to kill Americans, then I worry.”

Tell you what, Buttwipe, why don’t you slink back into your secret cubbyhole and do your worrying there, M’Kay?

He also regurgitated the Right’s favorite talking point of the week — that a certain percentage of terrorists released from Gitmo have gone back to their terrorist ways. In other words we should’ve executed them, or just thrown the key away and let ‘em all rot for eternity. What’s this “due process” you speak of???

Come to think of it, a lot of common criminals go back to robbing and pillaging after they’ve been released from prison. That does it — Trial Schmial! Kill ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out!

WaterboardMan also said: “The United States needs to be not so much loved as it needs to be respected. Sometimes, that requires us to take actions that generate controversy.”

Yes, you could take foreign policy advice from the same douchebag who drove the country into bankruptcy, murdered 4,000 American soldiers and turned America into the most hated country in the world.

And you could take driving lessons from somebody who’s had thirty-seven car accidents and hundreds of traffic tickets.

There’s one thing that Cheney and his braindead supporters haven’t figured out: If Obama ever receives a memo titled “Osama bin Laden Determined To Strike In U.S.” — he’ll probably take the time to Fuckin’ READ IT! (Unlike his retarded predecessor.)

Now Go! Go gently into the night. And don’t let the crypt door hit you in the ass on your way back in.