Exxon Hires Thugs to Intimidate State Attorneys General

Or maybe prostitutes would be more accurate.  Very, very expensive and experienced prostitutes.  The House Committee on Space, Science, and Technology has been instructed by its john — Exxon — to “investigate” (i.e. threaten, intimidate) the seventeen state attorneys general who have been looking into a possible fraud case against Exxon.  The congressional witch hunt investigation is being led by Committee Chairman Lamar Smith (R—Hands Around His Ankles).

As you know, Exxon’s internal memos have shown that the company has known for decades about the man-made causes of climate change.  Exxon kept this knowledge secret while pouring gazillions of dollars into climate denial think tanks, Astroturf groups and smear campaigns against politicians who disagreed with them.

The attorneys general from seventeen states — so far — have been looking into the contradictions between Exxon’s secret knowledge of human-caused climate change and their continued funding of climate change denial.  This could lead to a massive case of fraud — possibly even a violation of federal racketeering statutes — against Exxon.

Hence Exxon’s hiring of their congressional goons to intimidate the state attorneys general.  “Hey, the boss don’t want you guys stickin’ your nose where it don’t belong.  You wanna get hurt?”

A spokesperson for New York State’s Attorney General — one of the witnesses being intimidated by Exxon’s mob — said:

“Attorney General Schneiderman has opened a significant investigation into whether Exxon committed securities fraud, business fraud, and consumer fraud in New York and all across America.  It is remarkable that a do-nothing Congress that has refused to take any action on climate change is now attempting to disrupt this important investigation into potential corporate malfeasance.”

Ownership Society: The Enron Model for America

This “Ownership Society” is just great, isn't it; at least if you're part of that one percent who owns everything. When it comes to privatization, more is better. And we’re just about to see a whole lot more.

How’s this for a match made in Heaven: The nation’s infrastructure is crumbling, as we all know. Sinking. And rich investors are always looking for foolproof new investments that will increase their scrotal grip on the rest of the country. Presto!

Let’s privatize our roads and transportation systems. If you liked Enron, you'll love driving on the Bechtel Turnpike and riding Halliburton Transit.

A few years ago, Bolivia discovered how much fun it is to have their water supply owned by a global corporation. Soon we’ll be enjoying the same privilege here in America.

As you're driving over the Exxon Bridge on your way to Du Pont International Airport, you can think of those halcyon days of the Gilded Age. And suddenly you'll realize: those glorious days are here again.