Exxon Hires Thugs to Intimidate State Attorneys General

Or maybe prostitutes would be more accurate.  Very, very expensive and experienced prostitutes.  The House Committee on Space, Science, and Technology has been instructed by its john — Exxon — to “investigate” (i.e. threaten, intimidate) the seventeen state attorneys general who have been looking into a possible fraud case against Exxon.  The congressional witch hunt investigation is being led by Committee Chairman Lamar Smith (R—Hands Around His Ankles).

As you know, Exxon’s internal memos have shown that the company has known for decades about the man-made causes of climate change.  Exxon kept this knowledge secret while pouring gazillions of dollars into climate denial think tanks, Astroturf groups and smear campaigns against politicians who disagreed with them.

The attorneys general from seventeen states — so far — have been looking into the contradictions between Exxon’s secret knowledge of human-caused climate change and their continued funding of climate change denial.  This could lead to a massive case of fraud — possibly even a violation of federal racketeering statutes — against Exxon.

Hence Exxon’s hiring of their congressional goons to intimidate the state attorneys general.  “Hey, the boss don’t want you guys stickin’ your nose where it don’t belong.  You wanna get hurt?”

A spokesperson for New York State’s Attorney General — one of the witnesses being intimidated by Exxon’s mob — said:

“Attorney General Schneiderman has opened a significant investigation into whether Exxon committed securities fraud, business fraud, and consumer fraud in New York and all across America.  It is remarkable that a do-nothing Congress that has refused to take any action on climate change is now attempting to disrupt this important investigation into potential corporate malfeasance.”

New PAC to Defeat Lamar Smith

A political action committee, the Alliance for Internet Freedom, is hoping to defeat Rep. Lamar Smith (R—Inbred) in the Texas Republican primary on May 29th.  This PAC is made up of IT professionals who don’t appreciate Smith’s sponsorship of the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA).

As you probably remember, SOPA — which was defeated last January — would have basically allowed the government to shut down YOUR blog or website if somebody somewhere said they heard from a friend’s coworker’s roommate that you might have unknowingly linked your blog to another site that might possibly have violated somebody’s copyright.  Or something.

If this asshole came up with an abortional idea like the Stop Online Piracy Act, there’s sure to be more harebrained ideas where that came from.  Let’s hope he gets primaried.

A spokesman for the Alliance for Internet Freedom said:

“The Alliance hopes to give a voice to the techies, bloggers, and IT companies nationwide that we can band together and be just as strong as say the ACLU or NRA.  Since our formation we are working on registering political action committees in California, Ohio, Illinois, and Canada.”

In addition to the Alliance for Internet Freedom, there was already another PAC which was also formed specifically to get rid of Lamar Smith — Test PAC, which is made up of a group of Reddit users.

Believe it or not, the Stop Online Piracy Act isn’t even Lamar Smith’s worst idea.  Last year he sponsored the Drug Trafficking Safe Harbor Elimination Act of 2011.

(I wrote a post about it at the time.)

This law would make it a federal crime for an American citizen to do something in a foreign country which is LEGAL in that country, if the thing he/she is doing is illegal in the United States.  WTF???

Smoking marijuana in Amsterdam — Busted!  Purchasing a drug over the counter in a foreign country, if that same drug requires a prescription in the U.S. — to the slammer!

Lamar Smith has done enough damage already.  Primary the bastard.  Kill it before it multiplies.  (Figuratively.)

The Long Reach of America’s “Limited” Government

Schizoid Republicans — the gift that keeps on giving.  Out of one side of their mouths they shout “Freedom!” and “limited government.”  Out of the other side, they’re constantly screaming for a huge government crackdown on everything imaginable.

They want government to be small enough to drown in Grover Norquist’s bathtub; and this same bathtub-size government needs to be big enough to monitor everybody’s private life 24/7/365.

Conservatives’ newest urgent problem:  American citizens who do something in a foreign country that’s legal in that country but illegal in the U.S.  How can we sleep at nights, knowing that somebody somewhere is getting away with something that should be against the law?  Fortunately, Rep. Lamar Smith (R—Inbred) has the solution to this Earth-shattering problem.  He’s introduced the Drug Trafficking Safe Harbor Elimination Act of 2011.

According to the linked article, this bill “would make it a federal crime for U.S. residents to discuss or plan activities on foreign soil that, if carried out in the U.S., would violate the Controlled Substances Act (CSA) — even if the planned activities are legal in the countries where they’re carried out.”

Examples include:  smoking (or buying/selling/distributing) marijuana in a place where pot has been decriminalized (e.g. Amsterdam); taking part in a needle exchange program in a foreign country; or even purchasing an over-the-counter medicine in a foreign country if that same medicine requires a prescription in the United States.

A civil liberties attorney said:

“I don’t see any interest other than to a desire to impose our moral and cultural preferences on the rest of the world.”

You mean like American Exceptionalism and all that.  Yeah!  America is unique in all the world — a Beacon of Freedom.  And America’s Freedom will be forced down the throats of all the rest of you Podunk countries.  Got a problem with that???

Lamar Smith is hereby invited to take a long walk off a short plank.