One Less Hypocrite in the World

Let’s put aside partisan politics for a moment and pay our respects to a great statesman. Henry Hyde was a noble, well-intentioned — ahh, fuck it!

Sorry, but a scumbag doesn’t turn into a saint after he dies; he just becomes a dead scumbag.

Henry Hyde was just another two-faced rightwing shitstain who worshipped fetuses and thought the already-born were just cannon fodder. He was one of the ringleaders of Clinton’s impeachment, and then we found out — thank you Larry Flynt — that Hyde himself had once had a long-running affair with a married woman. And when this fact got revealed, he shrugged it off as a “youthful indiscretion.” This “youthful indiscretion” took place when Hyde was in his forties! “Youthful indiscretion”???? Dickhead.

His name has been synonymous since 1976 with the Hyde Amendment, which banned any federal funding for abortions. Heaven Forbid some cheap slut might get pregnant and then beg for money from taxpayers? Blasphemy!!

The Godfearing self-righteous Hyde was also deeply involved in a Savings and Loan scandal that cost taxpayers $68 million. Yup, that’s what Jesus would do.

R.I.P. Buh Bye.