Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, November 29, 2007

One Less Hypocrite in the World

Let’s put aside partisan politics for a moment and pay our respects to a great statesman. Henry Hyde was a noble, well-intentioned — ahh, fuck it!

Sorry, but a scumbag doesn’t turn into a saint after he dies; he just becomes a dead scumbag.

Henry Hyde was just another two-faced rightwing shitstain who worshipped fetuses and thought the already-born were just cannon fodder. He was one of the ringleaders of Clinton’s impeachment, and then we found out — thank you Larry Flynt — that Hyde himself had once had a long-running affair with a married woman. And when this fact got revealed, he shrugged it off as a “youthful indiscretion.” This “youthful indiscretion” took place when Hyde was in his forties! “Youthful indiscretion”???? Dickhead.

His name has been synonymous since 1976 with the Hyde Amendment, which banned any federal funding for abortions. Heaven Forbid some cheap slut might get pregnant and then beg for money from taxpayers? Blasphemy!!

The Godfearing self-righteous Hyde was also deeply involved in a Savings and Loan scandal that cost taxpayers $68 million. Yup, that’s what Jesus would do.

R.I.P. Buh Bye.



Blogger Miss Kitty said...

Ouch! Well-said...I guess I was just being too nice to him, but secretly thought, "Bye, ya asshole."

November 29, 2007 at 12:19 PM  
Blogger People in the Sun said...

From MSNBC: "'Henry Hyde was a credit to public service and to the House of Representatives,' said Democratic Sen. Patrick Leahy of Vermont, chairman of the Judiciary Committee. 'He practiced the old school values like civility, which help make the legislative process work. And he knew how to defuse a difficult situation with humor.'"

I guess Leahy remembers fondly the days before he was being dismissed with a "Go fuck yourself."

November 29, 2007 at 12:38 PM  
Blogger Candace said...

Yes, tell it like it is, Tom! They'll probably name a federal building after this hypocrite.

I haven't heard - are they still trying to get Reagan's face on Mt. Rushmore?

November 29, 2007 at 1:52 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Miss Kitty: I probably should've been nicer. He wasn't the worst of the conservatives by a long shot, but his hypocrisy and double standards just pissed me off. Having an ongoing affair and then pretending to be just shocked that Clinton would have an affair; talking about "values" and then soaking the public with an S&L scandal, etc.

People In The Sun: True, Hyde was more civil than Cheney (so is a rabid Doberman). But "a credit to public service" -- I beg to differ.

Candace: No doubt he'll have lots of buildings and freeways named after him. If Reagan's face goes up at Mt. Rushmore, I'll be eternally grateful that I got to see it before it got blighted.

November 29, 2007 at 3:20 PM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Henry Hyde fucking sucked, and Patrick Leahy might fucking suck even worse because he should know better.

As you said Tom, there is nothing wrong with speaking ill of the dead if they were deserving of that ill while they lived.

And no, you might have been too nice. I fucking hate hypocrites and that's what all these guys are. Do as I say, not as I do. I used up my last reserve of nicety a long time ago. Fuck 'em.

November 29, 2007 at 3:46 PM  
Blogger LET'S TALK said...

He really turned my head during the Clinton impeachment, then was found to be a lady chaser as well.

November 29, 2007 at 4:58 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: Yup, that "do as I say not as I do" mentality has gotta go. They can either live up to their sanctimonious preaching or they can shut the fuck up.

Let's Talk: Yeah, I don't know where he got off, going after Clinton when he himself had had a long-running affair. Thanks to Larry Flynt for leveling the playing field.

November 29, 2007 at 7:34 PM  
Blogger anna said...

Preach Tom! Preach!

I hate hypocrite! Buh-bye Henry!!

November 30, 2007 at 6:02 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Anna: Yup, good riddance to another 2-faced phony "Christian."

Larry: Your comment on this post appeared in the next post down (about pharmacists and Plan B) so I answered it there.

November 30, 2007 at 10:28 AM  
Blogger Snave said...

While I don't think he was a poster child for hypocrisy in politics, I think he was pretty high up on the shithead scale.

I think I felt better about this guy kicking the bucket than I did Jerry Falwell. It makes me think that if Bush or Cheney happened to pass away in their sleep I would maybe be dancing a jig.

Candace, I don't know about the Reagan on Rushmore thing, but I hope they're giving up on that one. I was afraid for a while that they would start a movement to bury him in the empty tomb beneath the capitol rotunda... that was put in there for Washington, but he declined to be buried there, opting instead to buried at his home. So gee, the tomb is still empty. Who better to put in it than the guy who single-handedly brought down the Berlin wall? 8-)>

And I don't think it is any coincidence at all that those jackasses wanted to replace FDR on the dime... with Reagan. Their lust for Reagan symbolizes their craziness over wanting to roll back the New Deal.

Wasn't there some kind of resolution or law passed or under consideration that every county in the US would have to have a building named after Reagan. If that's true, there are plenty of old falling-down outhouses out here in northeast Oregon. I know of several that would look great with his name on them. I can see it now, written in magic marker beneath a cartoon face peering over a fence: "Bonzo was here!"

The Reagan worshippers are so full of addled bullshit that it runs from their ears.

November 30, 2007 at 9:29 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: True, Hyde wasn't in the same category as DeLay or the other hardcore neocons. But his double standards just pissed me off so I had to diss him. Having a long-running affair and then being appalled when Clinton had an affair; acting all holier-than-thou and then getting involved in a multi-million S&L scam -- he deserved no respect at all.

Every county having to name a building after Reagan? I never heard about that. If it's true, there are probably a lot of outhouses that have his picture at the bottom of an outhouse. If you have to go, take a shit on the Gipper.

November 30, 2007 at 11:06 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

LOL! Yeah, what a great idea!

In the distant past, when I was in college, some outfit made decals you could affix to the bottom of your toilet bowl. One was Ayatollah Khomeini, one was Hitler, one was Idi Amin, and one was Reagan. I just about got one, but I was afraid it would come loose and plug up the plumbing in my rental place.

Randal, I Googled "Bush toilet bowl decal" and the first link was to your blog! I wasn't able to find Bush toilet bowl decals, but I did find a Bush toilet bowl brush at


Other tasteless Bush gift ideas are at:


December 3, 2007 at 9:50 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: Cool links. Thanks.

December 3, 2007 at 11:49 AM  

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