The World Through Neocon Lenses

Happy Anniversary, fellow Americans. And what a glorious four years it’s been — the proudest 4-year period in our nation’s history. Just think, four years ago the world was threatened by the most bloodthirsty dictator since Adolph Hitler. He had Weapons of Mass Destruction which he might unleash at any moment if we didn’t act instantly.

Not only that, but he had close ties with al Qaeda and every other Islamic terrorist group in the world. They were all watching us, just waiting to see if we’d have the nerve to fight the Evil Dictator. If we didn’t, the terrorists would know we were just a bunch of Surrender Monkeys. Our failure to act would encourage them to attack us any time they felt like it. Well, we showed ‘em. When we toppled Saddam Hussein, those Islamic terrorist groups just collapsed. POOF! We haven’t seen a trace of them for four years now.

When we invaded Iraq, our soldiers were greeted as liberators. Our Mission was Accomplished and within just a few days our troops were all brought home safely. Since that time, Iraq has been a prosperous democracy; the Jewel of the Middle East. Everything happened exactly as Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld had said it would. Oh, and the revenue from Iraq’s oil industry has more than paid for all of our military expenditures.

It was all so neat — let’s do it again.