Republicans: Do Not Vote For That Wimpy Liberal McCain

All right-thinking Americans must realize the awful painful truth: The Republican Party has sold us down the river. John Pinko McCain? Puhlease!

It’s bad enough we’ve had to listen to a bunch of navel-gazing moonbats whining about “global warming.” Now on top of that we have Tree-Coddling McCain agreeing with them.

He’s also in favor of stem cell research. No! Each and every one of those little stem cells is God’s own creation, and Atheist McCain wants to use them for [gasp] scientific research?!?! Lord have mercy! Nobody benefits from stem cell research except those lowlifes who have already been born; and they don’t count. It says so in the Bible.

And as we all know, there’s a campaign finance reform bill with McCain’s name stamped on it. (There’s also a cosponsor of the bill; some Jew I think.) Campaign finance reform??? What kind of communist filth is that? Hey, if a billionaire wants to purchase an election, that’s his God-given right as an American.

Last but not least, McCain is soft on immigration. We have millions of icky dark-skinned foreigners ruining this great nation, and what’s that spineless McCain going to do about it? Nothing!

What a disgrace to his country! We have names for people like that, and I’m gonna come right out and call him that. John McCain is a [sputtering] [choking] …John McCain is a…he’s a F#$%&!# Democrat!!!

Some conservatives are staying optimistic that McCain won’t wussify the Republican Party Platform too drastically. My fellow Biblewipe, Ken Blackwell of the Family Research Council, said: “I don't think you are going to see any radical departures or inflammatory demands for change in one direction or another.”

Let’s hope to God he’s right.

If not, then Myron Ebell, my fellow tree-hater from the Competitive Enterprise Institute, has some good advice: “If McCain pushes on each one of these issues — campaign finance, immigration, or global warming and energy issues — he’s likely to keep a lot of people at home on Election Day.”

Bravo! Hear that, Conservatives? John Flagburning McCain is NOT one of us! Let’s all boycott this farce and stay home on election day.

cross-posted at Bring It On!