Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, July 07, 2008

Republicans: Do Not Vote For That Wimpy Liberal McCain

All right-thinking Americans must realize the awful painful truth: The Republican Party has sold us down the river. John Pinko McCain? Puhlease!

It’s bad enough we’ve had to listen to a bunch of navel-gazing moonbats whining about “global warming.” Now on top of that we have Tree-Coddling McCain agreeing with them.

He’s also in favor of stem cell research. No! Each and every one of those little stem cells is God’s own creation, and Atheist McCain wants to use them for [gasp] scientific research?!?! Lord have mercy! Nobody benefits from stem cell research except those lowlifes who have already been born; and they don’t count. It says so in the Bible.

And as we all know, there’s a campaign finance reform bill with McCain’s name stamped on it. (There’s also a cosponsor of the bill; some Jew I think.) Campaign finance reform??? What kind of communist filth is that? Hey, if a billionaire wants to purchase an election, that’s his God-given right as an American.

Last but not least, McCain is soft on immigration. We have millions of icky dark-skinned foreigners ruining this great nation, and what’s that spineless McCain going to do about it? Nothing!

What a disgrace to his country! We have names for people like that, and I’m gonna come right out and call him that. John McCain is a [sputtering] [choking] …John McCain is a…he’s a F#$%&!# Democrat!!!

Some conservatives are staying optimistic that McCain won’t wussify the Republican Party Platform too drastically. My fellow Biblewipe, Ken Blackwell of the Family Research Council, said: “I don't think you are going to see any radical departures or inflammatory demands for change in one direction or another.”

Let’s hope to God he’s right.

If not, then Myron Ebell, my fellow tree-hater from the Competitive Enterprise Institute, has some good advice: “If McCain pushes on each one of these issues — campaign finance, immigration, or global warming and energy issues — he’s likely to keep a lot of people at home on Election Day.”

Bravo! Hear that, Conservatives? John Flagburning McCain is NOT one of us! Let’s all boycott this farce and stay home on election day.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Blogger J. Marquis said...

It's funny, when you listen to Hannity or Limbaugh they attack Obama but rarely say anything nice about McCain.

July 7, 2008 at 8:28 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

J: Some of those guys (Limbaugh anyway) have been attacking McCain almost as harshly as Obama. And the linked article, I just couldn't believe all the rightwing groups who were attacking McCain for not being far enough to the right. He's their only choice. What are they gonna do, vote Democrat or Libertarian?

July 7, 2008 at 11:57 PM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

We all know that they're going to vote en masse for McCain. Like him or not, he's a wrinkly, old cracker. As if they'll risk the black guy getting in the White House. Just gotta keep the red meat available to the rubes since it pays the bills.

July 8, 2008 at 8:28 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: You're probably right. The wingnuts are saying now that they won't vote for McCain since he's "too liberal." But on election day they'll probably panic and start thinking "a Negro in the White House, oh dear," and flock to the polling booth.

July 8, 2008 at 10:43 AM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

I love that phrase "negro in the White House". If it happens, a lot of dead Southerners will be spinning in their graves so fast we could probably use them as a source of alternative energy!

July 8, 2008 at 4:27 PM  
Blogger Carlos said...

Next thing you know McCain won’t be wearing an American flag lapel pin – it’ll be a Chicom lapel pin!

Jesus I’m fuckin’ sick and tired of hypocritical, ignorant, narrow-minded, flag waving, bible thumping, lapel-pin-wearing Republicans.

I often engage local Righties in discussions on global warming, and my mantra is always the same: “I’m not smart enough to know if the atmosphere is deteriorating because of us. I’m no scientist, and neither are you. Doesn’t it just make sense to err on the side of caution when the alternative is so grim?” That usually shut’s ‘em up for a while – long enough for me to get the fuck away and read a few encyclopedia volumes to replenish the knowledge their vacuum of ignorance sucked out of me while we spoke.

Great post! Sorry I haven’t been by so much lately. Life’s engulfing me lately.

July 8, 2008 at 4:54 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

J: Cool, I never thought of that. Dead Southerners spinning in their graves and providing an energy source -- LOL.

Carlos: I too am sick and tired of all those Republicans you mentioned. There was a recent survey showing that a majority actually thinks flag lapel pins and magnetic yellow ribbons are important, that they're an indicator of somebody's patriotism. ARRRGGGHHH!!! Our population really is getting dumber by the day.

July 8, 2008 at 5:47 PM  
Blogger Mauigirl said...

Great post, Tom. And I too love the idea of dead Southerners spinning in their graves.

One thing this does point out though is that McCain really does have some more, shall we say centrist, ideas than the GOP candidates of recent years. This could be a problem for Obama if he keeps shifting to the center himself. We need there to be a strong difference between them so the Democrats will flock to support Obama.

July 9, 2008 at 4:57 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Mauigirl: That's a good point. If McCain and Obama both move too close to the center, everyone will start spouting the cliche about "no difference between the 2 parties." And then Bob Barr and Ralph Nader will be right there beckoning the "party faithful."

July 9, 2008 at 9:18 AM  
Blogger Jenn of the Jungle said...

He's hardly a pinko....He's a conservative Democrat. A load better than Obamessiah.

July 9, 2008 at 12:09 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jenn: I thought "pinko" and "conservative democrat" were the same thing, according to you people :)

"Obamessiah" -- LOL.

July 9, 2008 at 12:51 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Carlos wrote: "Doesn’t it just make sense to err on the side of caution when the alternative is so grim?"

Corporate America and plenty of medium and small business, plus the financial industry, are scared doing something meaningful to counter global warming is going to cost them money. They worry that it's going to make their products and services less competitive.

Since these types make up a major wing of the GOP and pony up the big bucks for campaigns, McCain's squishiness on actually doing something, on erring on the side of safety, makes them crazy with anxiety.

Second only to taxing them, causing them to have to spend money they don't want to spend is an unforgiveable sin.

July 10, 2008 at 11:33 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

mauigirl, McCain is no longer hard to distinguish from a centrist. Not after flip-flopping on torture, veterans' benefits and his attitude toward Christian right leaders.

Radical-right types probably see him as a weak-willed centrist, because they're so far gone they deem anyone to the left of Attila the Hun or Calvin Coolidge as a raging socialist.

July 10, 2008 at 11:45 PM  
Blogger nitro dave said...

I will hold my nose very hard when I vote for McCain...!!! Americans will suffer if Obama wins----Does anyone using this post really know Obamas past record?!! We will most likely be under UN control if Obama wins and you can bet that the socialists Democractic leadership has a plan for Americas' future!!

July 15, 2008 at 11:12 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Nitro Dave: Oh my God, that really is a shocking possibility. If Obama gets in, we'll WISH it was the U.N. controlling us. We'll probably have the Russian army and gangs of Kenyan terrorists patrolling our streets, arresting anyone who looks too successful or patriotic.

July 15, 2008 at 11:16 AM  

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