President Palin

Depending on whether your IQ is above or below your shoe size — and whether or not your parents are first cousins — this post title is either a wet dream or your worst nightmare.

Or, in the words of our wannabe president:

“AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!! It’s happening again!! My Goddamn boobs are itching like a motherfuck, and I’m turning into a werewolf!!”

(What’s YOUR caption for that photo?)

So, is the Teabirther Queen really considering a run for the White House?

“It would be absurd to not consider what it is that I can potentially do to help our country. I won’t close the door that perhaps could be open for me in the future.”

Imagine the decision-making process if Sarah Palin goes to the White House:

“Uh, Honey, do we want to send more troops over there to, uh, Afraqistan?”

“Yo, First Dude, what should I do with this bill, something about Wall Street derid, uh, derog, uhhh…derivatives? Should I sign it? What’s it mean?”

Now, be sure you’re sitting down before you read this shocking headline:

“GOP cool to Obama call for two-party health talks”

No!!! You’re Kidding!!! The party of reactionary knuckledragging boneheads — whose entire mission is to sabotage and derail everything Obama tries to do — DOESN’T want to have a face-to-face meeting with the president to discuss health care reform?

This gathering — scheduled for February 25th in case the GOP has the stones for it — would be televised. Imagine the contrasts: Obama speaking in articulate, erudite sentences — using big words and everything — and Republicans answering him with “America!” “Liberty!” “Freedom!” “Big Government!” “Death Panels!”

It would be sort of like putting a slow third grader on one of those televised college quiz shows. Come on, Republicans, it’ll be fun.