House of Representatives Goes Down on Monsanto

On Thursday, July 23, 2015, Monsanto called a meeting of its Harem (formerly known as Congress),  whipped out its dick and commanded its prostitutes to suck on it.  275 congressmen quickly fell to their knees and cried out “How hard, Sir?!?”  “Shall I spit or swallow, Sir?!?”

The lewd scene described above has given birth to the twisted love child known as the Safe and Accurate Food Labeling Act, which hereby prevents state and local governments from requiring GMO foods to be labeled.  The bill was more accurately nicknamed “Deny Americans the Right to Know Act” aka the DARK Act.

Who is Congress' Busiest Skankiest Prostitute? Mike Pompeo

Hands down.  Mike Pompeo is so far ahead of the rest of the harem, it doesn't even matter who comes in second.  It might even be halfway defensible for Mike Pompeo (R-Kansas) to be the Koch Brothers' favorite boy toy, since Koch Industries is headquartered in Wichita.  But why Monsanto (headquartered in St. Louis)?

Spreading his legs for Monsanto AND the Koch Brothers?  Mike Pompeo is one busy little beaver.

Mike Pompeo has introduced H.R. 4432, euphemistically named the Safe and Accurate Food Labeling Act. H.R. 4432 would prohibit any state from passing a law that requires GMO products to be labeled.  And needless to say, H.R. 4432 would invalidate the already-existing GMO labeling laws that several states have already passed.

H.R. 4432 is more accurately called the Deny Americans the Right-to-Know Act, aka the DARK Act.

It must be a tough choice for a prostitute/legislator:  Honor the 90% of Americans who want GMO products to be labeled, or keep giving endless blowjobs to Monsanto and the Koch Brothers.

Republican Congressman Wants to Prevent States from Labeling GMO products

Rep. Mike Pompeo must be busier than a one-arm paper hanger.  Or in his case, busier than a single-mouthed CEO-blower.  Mike Pompeo is already the Koch Brothers' favorite boy toy.  And on top of that, he's giving 24/7/365 blowjobs to Monsanto executives as well.

He's introduced the “Safe and Accurate Food Labeling Act.”  George Orwell couldn't have come up with a better name than that for a law that's designed to protect food companies from having to list their ingredients. 

So far, not a single state has passed a law requiring food labels to disclose the presence of genetically modified (GMO) products.  Several states have had this proposal on a ballot initiative, and these initiatives have always been voted down after a $20-40 million dollar ad blitz financed by the Monsanto/Agribusiness syndicate.

But just in case one of these states actually does pass a GMO labeling requirement, Mike Pompeo wants to preempt this little problem at the federal level.  States' rights, doncha know.

With Monsanto's jism squiring out of his mouth, Pompeo spluttered out something that sounded like:

“We’ve got a number of states that are attempting to put together a patchwork quilt of food labeling requirements with respect to genetic modification of foods.  That makes it enormously difficult to operate a food system. Some of the campaigns in some of these states aren’t really to inform consumers but rather aimed at scaring them. What this bill attempts to do is set a standard.”

Very good, Mike!  Excellent job of reciting exactly what Monsanto told you to say.  OK, you can wipe off your mouth and stand up now, and — oh wait, not so fast!  A group of Grocery Manufacturers Association lobbyists just walked in, and they want sloppy seconds.  Get back on your knees!