Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, July 23, 2015

House of Representatives Goes Down on Monsanto

On Thursday, July 23, 2015, Monsanto called a meeting of its Harem (formerly known as Congress),  whipped out its dick and commanded its prostitutes to suck on it.  275 congressmen quickly fell to their knees and cried out How hard, Sir?!?  Shall I spit or swallow, Sir?!?

The lewd scene described above has given birth to the twisted love child known as the Safe and Accurate Food Labeling Act, which hereby prevents state and local governments from requiring GMO foods to be labeled.  The bill was more accurately nicknamed “Deny Americans the Right to Know Act” aka the DARK Act.

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Blogger Jerry Critter said...

Well, it's cheaper to buy one congress than 50 state legislatures. So much for states rights.

July 23, 2015 at 7:20 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jerry: Yup, the good old bulk discount. "States' rights" is just a slogan that wingtards turn on and off like a light switch.

July 23, 2015 at 10:29 PM  
Blogger Screamin' Mimi said...

Why am I not surprised? Seems like our congress can't wait to pass anything that serves corporate America and shafts people. I'm so disgusted by these miserable bastards I wish we could just tear the system apart and start over. Comes the revolution . . .

July 23, 2015 at 11:00 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SM: Nope, not a bit surprising. And that's scary, for both sides. This country's 99% is getting closer and closer to being like the Palestinians committing "terrorist" acts against their Israeli overlords, or for that matter, like the American colonies in the 1700s finally having had enough of their British oppressors. This won't be pretty if/when it happens, but the longer this festers, the bloodier it'll be when push finally comes to shove.

July 24, 2015 at 12:50 AM  
Blogger jadedj said...

And then there's the French who finally reached the point of "no more of your bullshit" with a march on Versailles by French Women with pitchforks. We know how that ended. It appears congress does not.

July 24, 2015 at 4:51 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

jadedj: Good point. Congress and their billionaire puppetmasters are too full of hubris (and other stuff too) to notice the growing backlash.

July 24, 2015 at 10:05 AM  
Blogger Carlos said...

The American public is collectively pretty stupid, but for Republicans to contend they're taking care of us with this piece of shit bill because we might be confused makes me nauseous. All we want is to know if the food we're shoving in our pie holes is natural. Why is it mandatory for corporations to tell me how much vitamin C is in my cereal, but not that the wheat it was made of was created in a laboratory by some egghead in north Jersey, unnaturally? Astounding.

There...I feel better.

July 25, 2015 at 5:45 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Carlos: You're absolutely right about how collectively stupid the American public is. As much as I hate prostitute legislators who bend over for large donors while ignoring their constituents, this behavior is only possible because it keeps being enabled by millions of gullible voters.

July 25, 2015 at 1:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So now it's Monsanto! Have they dusted off their knees from the Koch Brothers, the NRA the Southern Gods who want to preserve their flags, the Drug Companies, the Superpacts etc., etc., etc.,

Maybe they use those padded pews like they do in Church


July 26, 2015 at 1:16 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: LOL. All that endless kneeling must be agonizing for their knees. And their facial muscles are probably cramped from all that sucking; their neck muscles from all that bobbing up and down...

July 26, 2015 at 11:25 AM  

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