Learn How to Defeat the Polygraph. Pass a Lie Detector Test Every Time! GUARANTEED!

Gotcha!

But would you believe, the federal government has gotten so paranoid, they’ve started cracking down on instructors who teach job applicants how to pass a lie detector test.  The “logic” is that criminals and spies will have an easier time infiltrating the government if they’ve learned how to beat the polygraph.

The National Security Agency (NSA) claims that teaching this dangerous information is NOT protected by the First Amendment.  The Obama Administration’s Insider Threat Program is determined to prevent any more “betrayals” by “trusted insiders” like Edward Snowden and Bradley/Chelsea Manning.

A U.S. Customs and Border Protection official told an audience of professional polygraph operators:

“Nothing like this has been done before.  Most certainly our nation’s security will be enhanced. There are a lot of bad people out there. ...This will help us remove some of those pests from society.”

So far, two of these vicious beat-the-polygraph instructors have already been targeted by the Obama Administration.  Their business records were confiscated, and now federal agents know the names of 5,000 people who were trying to learn how to pass a lie detector test.  Book 'em!

These earth-shaking beat-the-polygraph techniques — whether they’re valid or not — have been common knowledge for decades.  They’re largely based on biofeedback, which goes back at least to the early 1970s.

When you’re hooked up to a polygraph, the device measures your skin temperature, heartbeat, degree of muscle tension or relaxation, etc.  When you’ve learned, through biofeedback,  how to voluntarily control these physiological functions, you can reach a state of calm relaxed awareness.  OR you can tell a big fat lie without being detected, and the next thing you know, you’ve conned your way into the State Department and you’re selling U.S. secrets to The Enemy.

Whether these beat-the-polygraph techniques work or not, they’re about as cutting-edge as Disco and Bell Bottom jeans.

Oh well.  Teach biofeedback, go to prison.

Anyway, what was next on my to-do list?  Ah yes, I remember now:  do a web search for “pressure cooker” + “backpack”…