Learn How to Defeat the Polygraph. Pass a Lie Detector Test Every Time! GUARANTEED!
Gotcha!
But would you believe, the federal government has gotten so paranoid, they’ve started cracking down on instructors who teach job applicants how to pass a lie detector test. The “logic” is that criminals and spies will have an easier time infiltrating the government if they’ve learned how to beat the polygraph.
The National Security Agency (NSA) claims that teaching this dangerous information is NOT protected by the First Amendment. The Obama Administration’s Insider Threat Program is determined to prevent any more “betrayals” by “trusted insiders” like Edward Snowden and Bradley/Chelsea Manning.
A U.S. Customs and Border Protection official told an audience of professional polygraph operators:
“Nothing like this has been done before. Most certainly our nation’s security will be enhanced. There are a lot of bad people out there. ...This will help us remove some of those pests from society.”
So far, two of these vicious beat-the-polygraph instructors have already been targeted by the Obama Administration. Their business records were confiscated, and now federal agents know the names of 5,000 people who were trying to learn how to pass a lie detector test. Book 'em!
These earth-shaking beat-the-polygraph techniques — whether they’re valid or not — have been common knowledge for decades. They’re largely based on biofeedback, which goes back at least to the early 1970s.
When you’re hooked up to a polygraph, the device measures your skin temperature, heartbeat, degree of muscle tension or relaxation, etc. When you’ve learned, through biofeedback, how to voluntarily control these physiological functions, you can reach a state of calm relaxed awareness. OR you can tell a big fat lie without being detected, and the next thing you know, you’ve conned your way into the State Department and you’re selling U.S. secrets to The Enemy.
Whether these beat-the-polygraph techniques work or not, they’re about as cutting-edge as Disco and Bell Bottom jeans.
Oh well. Teach biofeedback, go to prison.
Anyway, what was next on my to-do list? Ah yes, I remember now: do a web search for “pressure cooker” + “backpack”…
posted by Tom Harper @ 11:20 AM
4 Comments:
OHMYFUCKINGGODIDON'TBELIEVETHIS!
Like the Man said, the Polygraph is not admissible in court because it is undependable, unreliable and easily beaten. It can't catch for example a chronic liar.
The Government holds on to it, I suppose because they don't have anything without it, I shudder to think how many careers have been ruined by that stupid machine.
I've been seeing books, TV shows, and Seminars over the last 40 years on how to beat this thing, I saw that 60 minutes show years ago, the last show I saw on defeating it was was Penn & Tellers "Bullshit!"
It's like the Magicians Union having the police arresting the person who shows how the trick was done.
Erik
About 30 years ago, back when people had secretaries, I had one who could fool a lie detector. Companies would hire her to test their machines. She took great pride in defeating them.
I hope I would never have to take a lie detector test. It would probably say I was lying when I was telling the truth, because I would be worried about that while taking the test, the machine would pick up on my stress levels, etc.
It's in imperfect thing, for sure.
Seems with all our American scientific know-how, our government could come up with something more reliable to defend tooth-and-nail.
Erik: You're right, there's nothing new about any of these "beat the polygraph" methods. This government crackdown brings paranoia to a whole new level.
Jerry: Cool. That would be a handy skill to have.
Snave: I agree, it's pretty ironic that the government is defending tooth-and-nail something as antiquated and unreliable as the polygraph.
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