Teabaggers: “Keep Them Queers Out of the Army, or America Gets It!”

Gotta love these schizophrenic teatards. They want a “limited” bathtub-sized government that monitors 300 million Americans twenty-four hours a day. They want “Freedom!” and “Liberty!” and they want God brought back into the public square.

So far the teawipes have threatened to shut down the government unless “Obamacare,” Planned Parenthood and NPR are defunded, and unless abortion is banned, among other rightwing fantasies. And now the latest from the teajobs: Reinstate Don’t Ask Don’t Tell or we’ll shut down that there gummint.

It’s sort of entertaining to watch the wingtards’ hostage-taking wetdreams, since it’s a moot point anyway. Wall Street wants Congress to raise the U.S. debt limit. And what Wall Street wants, Wall Street gets. Case closed.

John Boehner (R—Prostitute) will be appearing before his Wall Street pimps later today. They need to be reassured that he’s bending over when they say “Bend Over!” If you’ve ever squirmed and sweated through a job interview or performance appraisal, multiply that tension by ten trillion if you want to imagine Boehner’s anxiety level during this “interview” with his Masters.

Whatever his favorite kind of booze is, it’ll be disappearing off the shelves tonight.