Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, May 09, 2011

Teabaggers: “Keep Them Queers Out of the Army, or America Gets It!”

Gotta love these schizophrenic teatards. They want a “limited” bathtub-sized government that monitors 300 million Americans twenty-four hours a day. They want “Freedom!” and “Liberty!” and they want God brought back into the public square.

So far the teawipes have threatened to shut down the government unless “Obamacare,” Planned Parenthood and NPR are defunded, and unless abortion is banned, among other rightwing fantasies. And now the latest from the teajobs: Reinstate Don’t Ask Don’t Tell or we’ll shut down that there gummint.

It’s sort of entertaining to watch the wingtards’ hostage-taking wetdreams, since it’s a moot point anyway. Wall Street wants Congress to raise the U.S. debt limit. And what Wall Street wants, Wall Street gets. Case closed.

John Boehner (R—Prostitute) will be appearing before his Wall Street pimps later today. They need to be reassured that he’s bending over when they say “Bend Over!” If you’ve ever squirmed and sweated through a job interview or performance appraisal, multiply that tension by ten trillion if you want to imagine Boehner’s anxiety level during this “interview” with his Masters.

Whatever his favorite kind of booze is, it’ll be disappearing off the shelves tonight.

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Blogger Demeur said...

You can bet the lunch with the Wall Street boys will be more than three martinis.

May 9, 2011 at 10:09 PM  
Blogger jadedj said...

Depressing subject, but written with style and cutting wit. Good one, Tom!

May 10, 2011 at 5:08 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

There should be a gay parade in every gooper burg but I feel sorry for whoever would have to clean up the exploded craniums.

May 10, 2011 at 7:30 AM  
Anonymous bieseddu said...

Duncan Hunter from CA is looking at getting all four of the military dept heads to sign off on DADT instead of just the chairman. I'm hoping PO and the rest get to signing the repeal so it can't be pushed back. It's been long enough already to get the signatures as far as I am concerned.

Wall St isn't going to let junket John, as JR calls him, hold the economy hostage and I saw something a bit ago that has Harry Reid telling Boner, big oil subsidies will have to go if we are serious about cuts. Well, I'll not be holding my breath on that just yet but it would be nice to see, big oil, agri subsidies and anything else that's useless being cut before they go for education or anything, well you know..important.

We'll know soon enough what the righty talking points will be, as I am certain Lisa will be here to dazzle us with talking points bullshit, after watching the Foxness monster.

May 10, 2011 at 9:55 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Demeur: Yup, a lot more than 3. And they were all triple strength.

jadedj: Thanks. When things get too depressing, all you can do is laugh at the absurdity.

Randal: Couldn't happen to nicer craniums.

Bieseddu: That's a great idea, what Duncan Hunter is doing. This has to be made permanent so it can't be undone every time Republicans take over the White House or Congress.

If Wall Street doesn't want us to default on the national debt, then we won't. Knowing this, it'll be easier to call the wingtards' (another JR term) bluff when they keep threatening "we're gonna let the country collapse unless you agree to _____________________"

May 10, 2011 at 2:17 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

bieseddu is me, that was the captcha I had to use when I signed my name. Really strange happenings on a couple blogs when I went to comment today. I can now add this to the mix.


May 10, 2011 at 2:24 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: Well at least those spamguard thingies can come in handy for something.

May 10, 2011 at 7:47 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Wouldn't it be sweet if Boehner's financial industry masters were to decide he's not a useful idiot, just an idiot?

May 10, 2011 at 11:08 PM  

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