Who Hijacked Our Country

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Cheney Peeks Out From His Lair

You know it’s a knockdown no-holds-barred fight in Congress when Boo Radley Dick Cheney emerges from his secret hiding place. He actually appeared – in person! – so he could cast a tie-breaking vote.

The party that controls every branch of the government (plus most of the lobbyists and think tanks) still can’t pass a year-end budget bill without disturbing the man behind the curtain. They’re sort of like a 300-pound bully who still has to use a baseball bat when he beats up on his 90-pound victim.

But Cheney came to the rescue. The tough embattled veteran of five draft deferments also came out snarling in favor of torturing POWs and spying on American citizens. War is Hell, and nobody knows this better than someone who had “other priorities” during the Vietnam war.

Cheney is in favor of “strong and robust” presidential powers, and he said that domestic spying is “totally appropriate and consistent” with the Constitution. He didn’t say which constitution.

He also clarified a few things with “It’s not an accident that we haven’t been hit (by terrorists) in four years.” Ugghhh…how do you argue with logic like that?

OK, I have a confession to make. Every day since 9/11/01, I’ve been doing handstands in our front yard while yelling out obscene phrases in Urdu and Swahili. (Don’t believe me? Just ask the neighbors.) And it’s working!! That's why we haven’t been attacked by terrorists since 9/11/01.

As of Right Now – and this has changed so many times in the past few months, it’s hardly worth keeping track of – the Wingnuts’ 157th attempt to allow drilling in the Alaska Wildlife Refuge is, at this exact moment, doomed. But this could change, and change, and change again...Permission to drill in ANWR has been on again, off again, on off on off…It’s like they say about the weather in New England. If you don’t like it, just wait a few minutes…

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