Happiness is a Warm Gun
James Michener had a quote from The Drifters (1971): “If the last family of Brontosaurus was found wandering the Earth, some son of a bitch from Western Oklahoma would claim the right to shoot the male.”
And that brings us to the Bridger-Teton National Forest in Wyoming. It was home to the world’s largest bison — breaking an 82-year-old record. And how do we know how large this bison was? Because some retarded redneck shot it.
The conquering hero was E.D. “Dude Where's My Dick” Riekens, Jr. of Cheyenne, WY. He told reporters: “
This particular bison had been well-known for years among the local population. They nicknamed him “Old Lonesome.” Thank God somebody finally killed him.